Burbank Eateries - Defined

Now, normally, I would have included this little posting in the last issue - so to speak - of The Burbank Follower. However, since it's so damned useful, I figured I'd give it a link of its own.

A poster by the name of "EliseT" on Chowhound has given a fairly comprehensive rundown of the local Burbank eateries and her (I assume it's a her) takes on each. There are tons of replies, some useful, some not. However, I believe this is probably the most useful page out there for review of restaurants in our beloved Burbank.

Check it out here.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 13

CITY COUNCIL PLOWS THE MIDDLE
The Burbank City Council postpones a decision on the controversial Whole Foods Market issue, voting 4-1 to have the developer submit an amended plan to address traffic issues. Residents of the Rancho, the neighborhood where the natural food grocer wants to build, complain the store's traffic will spook the horses and destroy the 'hood's quirky charm. Daily News. Leader.

NBC GETS NEW CHIEF
Bob Wright gets booted from NBC Universal's big chair, perhaps in response to falling ratings in the post "Friends" and "Seinfeld" years. New boss is Jeff Zucker, a 20-year vet. Leader.

FORMER MAYOR PICKS UP KEYBOARD
Ex-Mayor David Laurell, who also worked at the Burbank Leader in the 1990s, picks up the pen again to write about local politics and society (does that mean gossip?). Leader.

PROFILE OF A NON-CAMPAIGNER
Ted Bunch, running for a seat on the Burbank Unified School District board, is putting up no signs, making no calls and slinging no mud. Refreshing, unless this is due to voter apathy. Leader.

POLICE BLOTTER
Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. Leader.

Breaking Up with My Drycleaner

I swear, this whole thing feels like a Seinfeld episode. I love my dry cleaner, but he's got to go.

Our relationship started about a year ago, shortly after he opened up his new place about a mile from my front door. The cleaner shop had been there for years, maybe since the Paleolithic, and I had been using it since I arrived in Burbank some six months prior to that.

I refused to use the dry cleaner that my fiancee uses, not out of any disgust with their service or prices, but because it happens to be on the other side of the I-5. Traveling to her cleaner requires a trip across the bridge, and an inevitably pointless wait at the corner of Burbank and Victory boulevards. (On a related note, if anyone has any idea WHY that stupid light takes so long to change, please let me know. Really.)

So, to keep my blood pressure down and my happiness up, I stay firmly in the flats. My cleaner's predecessor got my business because of geography, my cleaner - who I shall call "Mike" - kept it because of his generally sunny disposition. But our relationship has soured. At least on my end.

My shirts keep getting holes, tearing in places where they should not, and fading much faster than they ought. Now, some of this may be due to hard use by yours truly, and part of it may simply be bad advice. Cleaners constantly - and Mike is no exception - berate you into dry cleaning your favorite shirts as a way to keep them as long as possible. However, I'm thinking this may have had the opposite effect.

Donna suggested that I perform a scientific experiment: take my dry cleaning to another place for a time and see if my clothes receive the same amount of wear. Of course, this would require abandoning Mike for the next year, which sorta makes me feel like a schmuck. But, then again, they are my clothes, and if I have an inkling that it's Mike's fault, I shouldn't go back.

The whole thing puts an amusing question in my head: do I have to tell him. Do I walk into Mike's shop, sans clothes, and inform him that we have to start seeing other cleaners? Do I do it by phone? Brother, I'd feel like an ass if I just stopped using his shop, but I'd almost feel like ass if I didn't tell him why.

See, Seinfeld episode, LA-style.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 12

KAREN KNOTT ONE-WOMAN SHOW PREMIERES
OK, so it's at a theater in North Hollywood, but Karen Knott, daughter of Don, is a Burbank resident. It opens up on Feb. 17, so if anyone knows anything about the show (and/or why & what the Gracie Wruck Fund is), please let me know. Web Entities.

STEVE LOPEZ HOMELESS SOLUTION
Involves, in part, returning downtown LA's street dwellers "back to where they came from, particularly the places that have shunned them, such as Burbank, West Covina, Santa Clarita and Kagel Canyon." (Via LA Homeless Blog). Huh. Fair or not, people? I have only lived here a bit more than a year, so I don't know the history on this one. Here's the entire LA Times column here.

Mail-In Balloting

According to the Santa Barbara Independent - which I've been reading voraciously ever since the News-Press imploded - Burbank is the only city in California to use all mail-in balloting.

Huh. I didn't know that. This, of course, would affect the upcoming municipal elections. Now, as I'm sure y'all remember, we all voted via the regular way, but that was for state and federal elected office, not city-only.

According to the news reports around that time, the mail-in madness cost the city more and failed to stem the ever-depressing turnout decline. Why are we doing this?

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 11

THE CASE OF THE SUPER-SIZED BARF BAG
A 73-year-old Manhattan woman is suing Jet Blue after she was refused a request for a jumbo air sickness bag. The woman was flying from Burbank to New York City, and was removed from the flight after arguing with flight attendants. The site, Aero-News Network, looks legitimate, but is it a gag? Aero-News.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 10

IRISH PROGRAMMER VISITS WARNER BROS
And finds it way cool. MNeylon.

BOB HOPE AIRPORT TRAFFIC INCREASES
About 176,000 more people flew in out of, and into, the Burbank-Glendale-Pasadena Airport in 2006 than did in 2005, an increase of 3.2 percent. Leader.

COUNCIL CONSIDERS OUTDOOR SMOKING BAN
City Council lights a fire under city staffers to produce a draft ordinance, and quickly. The ban would affect restaurant patios, outdoor gathering places, and transit stations in the downtown area, among others. Leader.

CONSTRUCTION FOR COMMUNITY SERVICES BUILDING BEGINS
The ceremonial groundbreaking for the 72,000-square-foot facility occurred Tuesday. The building, at the corner of Third Street and Orange Grove Avenue, replaces a facility damaged in the 1994 Northridge earthquake. Leader.

COLUMNIST CHANGES HATS
Joyce Rudolph, who pens The Burbank Leader's society column, introduces herself in her new role as features editor. Leader.

COUNCIL CANDIDATE PROFILE, PART 3
This time, The Leader introduces Anja Reinke, an attorney and realtor. She advocates a long-term approach to solving traffic congestion, and suggests starting a fine arts council. Leader.

BURBANK STARBUCKS AXE TRANS-FATS
The coffee chain's locales in Los Angeles, Glendale and Burbank are among the first in the nation to eliminate trans-fats from pastries. But they're still not particularly good for you. Leader.

POLICE BLOTTER
Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. Leader.

Wedding Photography

So, Donna and I have started, in earnest, the search for a wedding photographer. So far, we're liking the work of two Orange County-based outfits, Scott A Nelson Photography and Ryan Phillips Photography.

We have an appointment to talk to Scott on Feb. 11, and I'm trying to set up an appointment with Ryan in the very near future. But, in the meantime, does anyone have any recommendations? I'd certainly appreciate any and all help.

The RDO

Today, Monday morning, is my RDO, my regular day off, and is one of the more random benefits of city life. In exchange for working nine-hour days, I get to take every other Monday off. It's damn nice, really, giving me a chance to catch up on all the related nonsense of living.

I thought, at first, that it would end up being the equivalent of an three-day weekend, but it turns out that end up doing my laundry, working on the photo business, writing this blog, etc. That is, what I would be doing but for the fact that I'm usually stuck in a 10-by-10 foot cube at this point in the morning.

Today is also Donna's birthday, and though I took her to the Grand Canyon last weekend, and though we had a huge party for her on Saturday, I still want to do something further. Part of it comes, I expect, from her annoyance that I hadn't done enough to help prepare for said party. And part of my resistance to it (going to, say, the Smokehouse) stems from the fact that I am essentially broke until next payday, have a grip of bills coming up, and am generally stressed about money presently.

Oy.

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to share a posting I received via a group called "Awesome Artists." The group is a LA-based mailing list for, well, artists and other creative types. Generally, it's filled with listings of gallery openings, events, contests and the likes. But every once in awhile, you get a posting like this from a Robert Moskowitz:

Anyone know where I can borrow, rent, or buy a squirrel suit for an
adult? I need it for February and March.

Thanks.

Robert

I love LA.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 9

FRENCH 75 GETS FAINTED WITH DAMN PRAISE
The Burbank branch of the French chain gets an 'eh' rating. Chowhound.

BURBANK PD SHOOTS SUSPECT AT RAMANDA INN
The link, via ABC7, annoyingly does not state why the unnamed man was shot. A case of the police being unnecessarily close lipped? Anyone know? **UPDATE** Looks like CBS2 notes that the shooting "occurred during a drug investigation" and credits The AP, likely via City News Service.

BURBANK & CAHUENGA BBQ SHOP RATED
Also on Chowhound. Also an 'eh' rating.

COMEDIAN PAYS TRAFFIC TIX
Yes, it's funnier than the headline. Comedian Suzy Soro (Last Comic Standing) details the trials and tribulations of getting an outstanding Burbank warrant dealt with. Where Hot Comes to Die.
**CORRECTION** The blog is run by Suzy Soro, who has done work on Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, but the positing is from guest poster Tere Joyce of Last Comic Standing. Oops.

The 6:30 Lancaster

A white woman sits grumpily in front of me. The 6:30 Lancaster is crowded, but the commuters are mostly talkative, cheerful to be heading away from work. The morning Metrolinks are the more silent ones: serious, full of paper reading and coffee slurping.

She sighs, glances around her and takes a furtive sip from an airline bottle of Jack D. Then, suddenly, her phone comes to life with a shrill Pat Benatar scream...

Hit me with your best shot, fire awaaaaayyyyy!

She's older in that tired way, with stringy hair and unfashionable glasses - and not the so-uncool-they're-cool-Echo-Park-is-the-new-Silver-Lake-type. No, not those types. She slurs into the phone to her daughter, saying her to call Dad, that she's too busy to deal presently. The woman hangs up and takes another swig, catches my eye, and glares at me.

I look down and pretend to read my issue of Professional Photographer. She looks away and takes another swig.

Behind me are two black guys. They are talking about life, women and nothing in particular. One wonders when it's better to be professional and when to be ghetto-fab. The other thinks the whole conversation is bullshit, and wants to know how long it will take to get to Van Nuys as he is in dire need of a cigarette.

The conductor, a bearded and bespeckled gentleman, makes his daily request that "all visitors aboard the train need to depart prior to blast-off." This is followed by the daily warning that a failure to have a ticket will result in a $300 citation.

Smelling the coffee that spilled on my coat, I idly wonder if the 6:30 Lancaster has ever had a visitor.

The train takes off. Burbank is a short 21 minutes away.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 8

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...

COUNCIL APPROVES AIRPORT PROJECT
The Burbank City Council overturned the Planning Commission's vote earlier this month putting the kibosh on the jet hanger and office space project. Leader.

COLD WEATHER A RECORD
The mercury hit 26-degrees Sunday night, breaking a record of 30-degrees set in 1963. Pipes are a'exploding. Leader.

ELEMENTARY TO GET NEW FLOOR
The $150,000 repairs at Joaquin Miller Elementary were necessitated by moisture damage. Bummer. Leader.

COUNCIL WANNABEE PROFILES
Interesting set of articles on some of the candidates for Burbank City Council. Philip Berlin here and Gary Bric here. (Both via The Burbank Leader.)

POSTMODERN BLOGGING
The Burbank Democratic Club posts a link to DailyKos regarding a poll on who Demo voters want to see as their nominee in 2008. Al Gore? Oi. Burbank Democratic Club.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 7

SEMI REGULAR EVENT POSTING (VIA BURBANK WIRE)

...thru Jan 25th. Beyond Expectation A Showcase Exhibition of Master Colored Pencil Work by Seven Southland Artists January 5 - 25, 2007. The City of Burbank Creative Arts Center Gallery presents 7 masterful artists who have pioneered a new media to see its stature rise in the world art community. These artists are national and international masters who have proven their craft in galleries and renowned art publications. Some are accomplished public speakers and evangelize the new art medium to novices and practiced masters alike in workshops and presentations. Artists' reception is on Friday, January 5, 2007 from 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. Lot's more...http://www.burbank.com/wire/00380.shtml

... thru January 31, 2007 YOSEMITE: Art of an American Icon. PART I: 1855–1969. In the George Montgomery Gallery. PART II: 1970-Present Nov 10, 2006, through April 22, 2007 In the Showcase Gallery.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00069.shtml

Saturday and Sunday, January 20 and 21, January 27 and 28. 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Gold Rush in January. Eureka! Drop in between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. on any Saturday or Sunday, and try your hand at panning for gold in the Trails West Gallery. Discover the myths and realities of the California Gold Rush. Will you go bust or strike it rich? Free with Autry museum admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Saturdays, January 20, 27. 11 a.m., Noon, 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m. Docent-led Public Tours for January. Free with Autry museum admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Family Night @ the Library features The Snark-A-Snoops, a fun show with original music, madcap characters, dancing, and eye-popping science experiments. They will be performing at 7 PM on Thursday, January 18, in the Buena Vista Branch Library.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00379.shtml

Thursday, January 18 Time: 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. (Lunch is provided) Development Directors Round Table - Corporate Sponsorship. Join us for an in-depth discussion about corporate sponsorship from the fundraiser’s perspective. Get tips on how to create meaningful sponsorship opportunities that impact your fundraising goals. Come share your wisdom, learn from your peers and get expert advice on how to create meaningful sponsorship opportunities. Flintridge Foundation Retreat Center 236 W. Mountain Street, #117, Pasadena, CA 91103 Registration Fee: $10 - $20 (see website for details) http://www.burbank.com/wire/00394.shtml

THURSDAY, JANUARY 18th 7:15p JAYCEE NIGHT: BURBANK ECONOMIC UPDATE. Burbank Chamber of Commerce, 200 West Magnolia Boulevard , Burbank , CA 91502. Our speaker for January's meeting is Scott McGookin, a Redevelopment Project Manager for the City of Burbank Scott is going to speak with us about the exciting new economic development activity we are seeing in the city, including the recent developments in Downtown Burbank Scott will also be discussing some of the other Community Development projects on the horizon. Don't miss it. Questions are welcome. For more information, please contact Jackie at jackie.lewis@disney.com.

The annual Anime Festival for teens will be held on Saturday, January 20, from 1-4 PM at the Buena Vista Branch Library. Anime films will be screened and special guest speakers featured. Call 818-238-5590 for free reservations.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00379.shtml

Saturday, January 20 Time: 9:00 to 10:00 a.m. Grantseeking Basics Class. If you're looking for money for a nonprofit organization but don't know where to start, attend a free one-hour session introducing new users to the Community Services program, library resources and grantseeking basics, and includes an introduction to foundation directories and philanthropic periodicals at the Flintridge Foundation Philanthropy Resource Library. Flintridge Foundation Philanthropy Resource Library 1040 Lincoln Avenue, Suite 100, Pasadena, CA 91103.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00395.shtml

Saturday, January 20, 2–4 p.m. Native Voices at the Autry, 2007 Festival of Young Plays. The Young Native Voices Theater Education Project, in collaboration with the Southern California Indian Center, is proud to produce its sixth year of play readings written by Native youths. See the debut of their powerful and compelling five-minute plays read by professional Native American actors. RSVP: 323.667.2000, ext. 354. Free at the Autryhttp://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Saturday and Sunday, January 20 and 21, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Native Elements Trunk Show. Native Elements represents Apache jewelry artists from the San Carlos Reservation. Meet Apache jewelry designer Charles Vargas, and allow him to choose or design a unique piece just for you. Free at the Autry http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Saturday, January 20, 2-4 pm Native American Youth Find Their Voice Through Playwriting Festival of Young Plays. Free, but reservations requested: 323.667.2000, ext. 354 Native American students from the Southern California area will have their plays performed by professional actors as part of the Young Native Voices Theater Education Project sponsored by Native Voices at the Autry. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00399.shtml

Saturday, January 20, 1–4 p.m. Rendezvous With a Writer. Meet Adam Collings, author of California: West of the West. Free at the Autry http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Sunday, January 21, 2007 at 4:00pm Pasadena Pro-Musica Concert. Italian Madrigals of the Renaissance - A concert of renaissance works for a small group. Pieces by Marenzio, Gesualdo and Monteverdihttp://www.burbank.com/wire/00232.shtml

Sunday, January 21, 1–2:30 p.m. Let’s Make History! Family Workshop: Landscape Dioramas. Experience the wonders of Yosemite through the eyes of American artists, and design your own three-dimensional landscape. Free with Autry museum admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Sunday, January 21, 1–3:30 p.m. Hetch Hetchy. In David Vassar’s award-winning short, Discover Hetch Hetchy, you’ll get a visual and historical overview of Hetch Hetchy and the ongoing controversy surrounding this dammed valley. Following the screening, join the filmmaker and others for a stimulating panel that explores the options for Yosemite’s “twin valley.” Can the valley be drained and restored? If so, can San Francisco and Northern California keep their supply of water and power? Find out by joining in. Free at the Autry.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Sunday, January 21. Yosemite: Art of an American Icon, Part I: 1855–1969. Exhibition Closing. Free with Autry museum admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Sunday, January 21, 1–3 p.m. Western Music Association SoCal Chapter Monthly Jam. Free at the Autry.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

Experience Nick Palance in Concert on Wednesday, January 24, at 7 PM. Coined the "American Bocelli," Nick Palance will perform classic international songs, operatic arias, and Broadway tunes. The concert will be held at the Buena Vista Branch Library. Call 818-238-5620 for further information. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00379.shtml

Wednesday, January 24 8:30 – 9:30 a.m. at the Philanthropy Resource Library. Wake up to a book review of Don’t Make Me Think! A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability by Steve Krug. To be effective, web pages must work their magic at a glance. The author covers the fundamental rules of good website design. We’ll also share some grantseeking technology tips and nonprofit articles you may have missed. Enjoy a chance to chat with your peers over coffee, juice and pastries. Please note: participation is limited to the first 15 registrants. Philanthropy Resource Library 1040 Lincoln Avenue, Suite #100, Pasadena, CA 91103 http://www.burbank.com/wire/00396.shtml

Wed. Jan 24th 8:00 p.m. Spirit-filled Praise and Worship, Adoration and Procession of the Blessed Sacrament with prayer for healing. All are welcome to worship with us in a blended service of contemporary and ancient traditions. National worship leaders Mike and Suzie Wooldridge invite all to experience the presence, power and healing of Christ. St. Finbar Church 2010 W. Olive Ave. Burbank 91506 (818) 846-6251. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00398.shtml

This month Bookie Babes Book Club will discuss The Mercy of Thin Air, by Ronlyn Domingue. We meet at Barnes&Noble Bookstore, 731 N San Fernando Blvd, Burbank on January 24, 2007 at 7:30 pm. The book is available at this Barnes&Noble store on the Book Club Kiosk near the middle of the store or just ask a bookseller. We are a group of women, all ages, all professions. We usually meet at a table near the cookbooks section and as we talk, argue and laugh, we make a lot of noise. After our discussion, we get treats from the cafe and talk about our lives. New members are welcome. Our motto is "Take a chance on a book." Join us!http://www.burbank.com/wire/00403.shtml

Jan 26th, 2007. The USC AGSA is excited to announce the date for our next Annual Gala and Live Auction at Ararat Home! So mark your calendars now and plan ahead. The 2006 Gala was completely sold out at 620+ attendees. The 2007 Gala will be even more lavish, fun and exciting so this is one event you cannot afford to miss!http://www.burbank.com/wire/00166.shtml

The Burbank Public Library welcomes back the Sisters in Crime/LA for another fascinating panel discussion with local mystery authors. "Detecting Murder: How Detectives Get Their Man (or Woman)" is the theme of the program that will be held at the Buena Vista Branch Library on Saturday, January 27, 2 PM. Panelists include Michael Mallory, author of The Adventures of the Second Mrs. Watson and Murder in the Bath; Jeff Sherratt, author of the Jimmy O'Brien mystery novels, Kate Thornton, who retired after 22 years in the US Army and is the author of mystery, fantasy, and adventure/romance novels; and Denise Hamilton, author of the best selling Eve Diamond crime novels.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00379.shtml

The 2nd Annual “State of the Horse” Convention will be held Saturday, January 27, 2007, 9AM-5PM at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center in Burbank organized and sponsored by “The New Heaven on Earth Ranch Foundation”, Los Angeles Trails Project, and the Valley Horse Owner’s Association.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00404.shtml

Sunday, January 28, 1–2:30 p.m. Family Playhouse: Lion Mask. Start the year off on the right foot. Dance your family to good luck while you scare away bad spirits in your own lion’s-head mask. Autry museum.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00384.shtml

February 1-17 The Friends of the Burbank Public Library are sponsoring their annual Amateur Photography Contest. Entry forms and rules are available at all locations of the Burbank Public Library. A maximum of two photographs may be submitted per person. All entries must be accompanied by a completed entry form and turned in to the Reference Desk of the Central Library, 110 N. Glenoaks Blvd. A reception honoring all entrants and the winners will be held on March 1, at 7 PM in the Central Library.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Enter a photo of your dog from February 1-28. There will be a special photo exhibit to coincide with the Library's Burbank READS activities surrounding the selected book, John Grogan's Marley & Me. Photographs will be part of a "Marley" exhibit at the Central Library, April 3-21. Rules and entry forms are available at all Burbank Library locations. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

February 2 - 22, 2007 A Journey of the Spirit. The City of Burbank Creative Arts Center Gallery presents California artist, Cheryl Christiansen, a woman of talent and versatility. She is most noted for her serene landscapes and colorful garden scenes. Executed with a contemporary flare, her paintings are inspired by her admiration of Monet and the Impressionists. Her early watercolor floral paintings resemble the primitive still-life paintings by Sarah Phone, the renowned artist of the post-impressionist period, while her most recent oversized floral pieces are a sensual microscopic study of the intimate beauty of flowers. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00400.shtml

Karna Small Bodman will be discussing her debut political thriller, Checkmate, at the Buena Vista Branch Library on Saturday, February 3, at 2 PM. Ms. Bodman was Deputy Press Secretary and Senior Director of the National Security Council in the Reagan White House. She uses her political experiences as background for a novel of suspense and intrigue.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

The Los Angeles Opera speaker's bureau will be presenting another in their series of "Opera Talks." The topic for the February 5th program is their production of "Tannhauser." It will be held at the Buena Vista Branch Library at 7 PM on Monday, February 5.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Family Night @ the Library features the music of The Uncle Brothers at the Burbank Central Library on Wednesday, February 7, and at the Buena Vista Branch Library on February 14. Both performances start at 7 PM.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Saturday, February 10, at 2 PM. Sisters in Crime/LA return with another fascinating panel discussion. The theme for the February event is "Romance is Murder." The Buena Vista Branch Library will host this event. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Young Adult Services presents Makinto, a talented musician and storyteller, who will present an exciting musical lecture of the history of black people in America through the evolution of African American music. The performance will be offered at the Buena Vista Branch Library at 7 PM on February 6, and at the Burbank Central Library, at 7 PM on February 15. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Le Petit Cinema, Live & Learn @ Your Library, continues its three-part series of documentaries with a fascinating look at alternative energy sources. Call 818-238-5600 for the film title. It will be screened at the Central Library on Saturday, February 17, at 2 PM. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Le Petit Cinema, the Library's monthly film series, invites the public to "Live & Learn @ Your Library" with a series of three thought-provoking documentaries beginning at 2 PM on Saturday February 17, and March 3. Contact the Burbank Public Library, 818-238-5600 for film titles or further information.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00379.shtml

Have you read Marley & Me by John Grogan, the first selection in the Burbank READS campaign? Burbank READS is a One Book, One City program to encourage the community to rediscover the joy of reading. Join your friends and neighbors at the kick-off event at 10 AM on Saturday, February 17. Meet at the corner of Keystone and Chandler Blvd. for a dog walk down the Chandler Bikeway. A treat for you and your dog!http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

John Grogan's memoir of "the world's worst dog" led to the bestselling book, Marley & Me. Discover how to put your own treasured memories in writing. Join Ina Hillebrandt, Founder and CEO of Pawprints Literacy Plus Foundation, for a free 2-hour workshop on memoir writing. The class will be held at the Buena Vista Branch Library on Saturday, February 24, from 2-4 PM. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

Saturday Feb. 24th, 2007, 7:00p.m. Burbank Philharmonic Orchestra Presents "Finals of the Hennings-Fischer Burbank Philharmonic Young Artists' Competition." Steven Kerstein, Music Director & Conductor, 16th Anniversary Season. Concert Hall of Liberty, 6300 Forest Lawn Drive FREE Admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00340.shtml

March 1, at 7 PM. A reception honoring the entrants and winners in the Friends of the Burbank Public Library Annual Amateur Photography Contest will be held in the in the Central Library.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00401.shtml

SAVE THE DATE: FRIDAY, MARCH 2, 2007 Burbank Temporary Aid Center will have their fourth annual Fundraising Dinner, honoring Burbank Fire Chief Tracy Pansini at the Castaway Starlight Room. Proceeds from the evening's event will go toward client services, operations and to reduce the mortgage on their new building. For further information and to find out how you can help, please contact Barbara Howell, Executive Director, at (818) 848-2822 X110. http://www.burbank.com/wire/00364.shtml

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 11:00am The Kiwanis Aktion Club sponsored by Kiwanis For Fun of Burbank, will be hosting and participating in a fashion show and luncheon this spring at La Bella banquet hall with all proceeds benefiting the new Roy and Patricia Disney Cancer Center at St. Joseph's Medical Center in Burbank. For information, please contact Linda Curtin at 818 841-4667 or visit:http://www.burbank.com/wire/00382.shtml

Saturday April 21, 2007. Burbank Philharmonic Orchestra Presents "Music for the Family." Steven Kerstein, Music Director & Conductor, 16th Anniversary Season. Jacqueline Bezek and Kelsey Tamayo, Soloists. Wagner-Siegfried Idyll Canteloube-Songs of the Auvergne. Hovhaness-Fantasy on Japanese Woodprints. Beethoven-Symphony No. 3. 6:30 Musical Menagerie. 7:30p.m Concert. Concert Hall of Liberty, 6300 Forest Lawn Drive. FREE Admission.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00341.shtml

Burbank Sunrise Kiwanis has set April 27, 2007, as its special 10th Anniversary of the Mayors Cup Charity Golf Tournament. This is just a heads up, and we'll get more detailed info to you soon.Sunday, April 29, 2007 Burbank Kiwanis For Fun Foundation, Inc. will present its eighth annual charity car show and craft fair at Johnny Carson Park in Burbank. Beautiful antique cars, great food, opportunity drawings, entertainment and crafts. A wonderful way to spend a Sunday. For more information call Donna or Tony Wade at 818 846-8487, 818 822-2903 or 818 822-2901http://www.burbank.com/wire/00383.shtml

Mark your calendar now for Burbank's annual Relay for Life, scheduled for June 23rd & 24th at Robert Gross Park. More details to follow. If you would like to be a part of the committee to organize this event, please contact Anita Dominguez at the American Cancer Society office at 841-2994.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00402.shtml

July-August 2007. Burbank Philharmonic Orchestra Presents "Pops Concert." Steven Kerstein, Music Director & Conductor, 16th Anniversary Season. Music by John Williams, Gershwin, Tchaikovsky, Sousa. 5:30 Musical Menagerie. 6:30p.m Concert. Burbank Starlight Bowl, Stough Park.http://www.burbank.com/wire/00342.shtml

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 6

CROC HUNTER'S DAUGHTER MAKES TV DEBUT
Bindi Irvin, the eight-year-old daughter of late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irvin showed up at the Burbank studio of "Ellen DeGeneres Show" to talk about animals. AP (via ABC13 Houston).

BURBANK COUNCIL SEATS WIDE OPEN FOLLOWING DEPARTURES
Two seats on the Burbank City Council are up for grabs. Mayor Todd Campbell and Councilman Jef Bander Borghts, who each served four years, declined to run for reelection. Daily News.

Random Thoughts...

As I sit here, I wonder: in marriage, how do you continue the feeling of awkwardness? That quick-beat of the heart when you're not sure if you're crossing over the line to kiss the person you've just met? Where does it go?

Also, what happened to the Spin Doctors?

Late...

Ugh. I have had one hell of a morning. Or, I suppose to be fair, it's been a fairly trying morning. Missed the train (drove up as it went out), lost my umbrella and forgot my city ID card (requiring me to sneak in...shhhh).

And then, to top it all off, the elevator on the third floor weirdly refused to let anyone go up, requiring me to go down to the first floor and then back up. Strange.

Not too interesting, I suppose, but it's on my mind. There ya go.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 5

AIRPORT VS. CITY OF BURBANK
Attorneys for the Bob Hope Airport authority are embroiled in an obscure zoning dispute over a proposed jet hanger and office space development. Yawn. Leader.

FENCES MAKE GOOD BLUE RIBBON COMMITTEES
Despite ten months of work, a task force, um, tasked with coming up with new codes for fences walls and the like has done, well, squat. The Leader ain't exactly full o' interesting Burbank news this time.

SCHIFF WANTS TO TWEAK DOMESTIC SURVEILLANCE LAW
Local Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Burbank) introduced a bill - along with Republican Jeff Flake (D-Arizona) that would, in part, require more oversight of President Bush's controversial domestic spying program. Leader.

BURBANK RESIDENT WEIGHS IN ON WHOLE FOODS
Susan O'Carroll, a Burbank resident, says the upscale grocery would be bad for the neighborhood. O'Carroll, who does not live in the Rancho neighborhood, appears to be the first local resident to have her opinions printed in the local papers. Leader.

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS...
Phil Donohue (not, as far as I know, the former talk show host), blogs about the Oliver Manor Hotel in Burbank. Itinerant.

CONSIDERING A BURBANK MOVE
A poster named "drgonzo2k2" wants some input on the pros and cons of moving to Burbank. Have at it, yo. AskMetaFilter.

Safari Inn

I suppose I should have included this in the most recent edition of The Burbank Follower, but, nah. It deserves its own mention... A review of the seedy Safari Inn on Olive. Whee. Yelp.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 4

BURBANK BOUND UNITED GETS UNTIED
Boi from Troy reports on a harrowing experience on United flight 6410 from San Francisco to Burbank on Jan. 7. Following a bout of “severe turbulence,” the plane diverts to LAX for its longer runways. The plane (and its passengers) then soldiered on following the unexpected stop, resulting in a rare 10-minute flight to the Valley. Boi from Troy.

FORMER BURBANK ASST. CITY MANAGER GETS RAISE
Whittier City Manager Steve Helvey receives a pay hike of 7.5 percent, jumping his annual pay from $176,868 to $203,443. Helvey, who has been in Whittier since April 2000 previously worked in the Media City for 14 years. Whittier Daily News.

WHOLE FOODS PR CAMPAIGN
As spotted by Curbed LA, some Burbank residents are receiving a glossy flyer touting the proposed (and controversial) Whole Foods development in the Rancho neighborhood. Looks like they even have a nascent website. Astroturf? Sounds like. Curbed LA.

AND, SOUTHLAND RESIDENTS WEIGH IN ON WHOLE FOODS
Via the Los Angeles Times letters page here, one pro and one con. Neither side representated is actually from Burbank, though. Dust off dem keyboards, people! LAT.

PLAN YOUR TRIP
The latest wonder from Google Labs: the transit planner. Only a few cities are represented in the test run, but on of them is Burbank. Whoo! If anyone uses it, please let me know. Link via Dumb Little Man.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 3

No postings of note came down the transom yesterday, but today we have two-scoops of Burbank-related news:

PUSH FOR OUTDOOR SMOKE BAN
Burbank residents are pushing the City Council to curb smoking in outdoor public spaces. Such a ban would follow in the footsteps of Santa Monica and Calabasas. LAT.

DEAR ABBY HELPS BURBANKER
Of course, 'tis impossible to know if the poor guy - using the pseudonym "Blackmailed in Burbank" - is a denizen of our fair city (there are Burbanks in Illinois and Santa Clara), but it's a good read nonetheless. Poor guy, really. Kansas City Star.

BURBANK McCOMRICK & SCHMICK'S REVIEW
The Daily News likes it. The restaurant, the chain's first in the Valley, recently opened at the old Dalt's site on West Olive Boulevard. Daily News.

BURBANK EVENTS
- Master Colored Pencil Work Art Exhibit through Jan. 25, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Creative Art Center Gallery, 1100 W. Clark Ave., Burbank. Call (818) 238-5397.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 2

WHOLE FOODS CONTROVERSY, REDUX
The Los Angeles Times weighs in on the Whole Foods mess. A number of people in the tony Rancho neighborhood believe traffic from the upscale market (sometimes referred to as "Whole Paycheck") will spook the horses. The Daily News, I believe, was first on this story. LAT.

FARMER'S MARKET
OK, so it's not really news. But the farmer's market at Third Street and Orange Grove Avenue is apparently a big hit among us locals. I suppose I ought to check it out sometime. Leader.

CITY FIGHTS NEW WATER RULES
Burbank and the city of Los Angeles join to fight new, more stringent, clean water rules. Mayor Todd Campbell claims the new rules, besides being unnecessary, will mean higher utility rates. Leader.

FORMER COUNCILMAN AND AIRPORT CRITIC DIES
Ted McConkey died Dec. 23. No mention of his age. Leader.

BURBANK EDGES TOWARD GREENING UP CITY CARS
Plans by Burbank Water and Power to convert city vehicles to electric receive blessing by the City Council. Leader.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 2, No. 1

It is a new year for The Burbank Follower. As such, it is time to give my sporadic and completely derivative source of news a new volume number: two. Whoo! Serving you since December 2006. Ah, 2006, I remember the year well.

Anyhow, onto the random and occasionally comprehensive listing of Burbank, Calif. related news.

FAT LADY FAILS TO SING
An showing of "The Magic Flute," broadcast live from the New York Met, sold out Saturday. Alas, the sound also sold out minutes into the performance and never quite recovered. Bummer. LAT (by way of Newsday).

DAY OF MOURNING SKED
Federal courts and offices will be closed, and mail will not be delivered. County and city (sigh) offices will be open. The National Day of Morning is coincides with the funeral of President Gerald Ford. Daily News.

BURBANK LASHER'S REVIEW
Good ambiance, so-so food. Chowhound.

Happy New Year!

Man. I'm beat.

I've spent the last 10 days wandering around the Atlantic seaboard, visiting Donna's relatives, adopted, relatives, birth, in Maryland and Virginia, respectively. We also stopped to see my peeps in Philly, and friends in Washington, D.C. Emotionally wrenching, physically wearying, and full of overindulgence, the trip was pretty much all I expected it to be.

As I wandering into the hallowed grounds of LA City Hall this morning, I felt relief. It's good to be back at work. (Of course, had I been a federal employee, it would have been a paid holiday, owing to President Ford's passing. That might have been a bit better.)

Happy 2007!

Time Away...

Hey all... I will be on hiatus from Friday, Dec. 22, 2006 until Jan. 2, 2007.

Have a great holiday and happy new year!

- Dan

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 9

LASHER'S STEAKHOUSE
A new steakhouse just opened at Olive Avenue and Third Street. Reviews are rollin' in. Chowhound.

SOLAR POWER
The Burbank Board of Education will check out a proposal to put solar panels on Luther Burbank Middle School tonight. Leader.

COMMUTE TIMES INCREASE...
But so does average income, at least in the San Fernando Valley. Leader.

TAX REVENUES INCREASE BY $33.7 MILLION
The increases are due, in part, rising property values in four redevelopment projects either started or finished during the 2005-2006 fiscal year. Leader.

POLICE BLOTTER
Minor mayhem and other assorted criminal nonsense in Burbank. Leader.

GRACIELA SOLD
Tony hotel in downtown Burbank sold to LaSalle Hotel Properties for $36.5 million. Hotel Interactive.

Dear Daily News

It's not you. It's me. But our relationship has to stop. I can't have you showing up at my doorstep at four o'clock each morning. I told my fiancee our relationship was over, and she's getting upset.

Please don't think I haven't tried, Daily News. I did.

I remember the chilly day we met last year. A burly man with a name tag that read "Bud" called out to me. Daily News, he said, $24 for 12 months.

"And it comes with a $10 gift card," said Bud. "So cheap, you don't even have to read it."

I remember laughing, Daily News. But then I felt bad that someone would sell you so short. You are clearly worth far more, and I wonder if that has affected your self-esteem.

I have appreciated your local coverage and your jaunty red and blue masthead. I think your sports columnists are superior to those in the LA Times, and I like the fact that I can read you in 25 minutes, the time it takes for my Metrolink train to whisk me downtown.

But no more. We had three newspapers at the time: the LA Times, the NY Times and the Daily News. We were overwhelmed. Stacks of newsprint gathered in our home like an illustration in a Shel Silverstein poem.

So, in October, broke it off. Perhaps it was cold of me to breakup by telephone, but you refused to speak to me. What could I do?

I called your friends in Woodland Hills, and left message after message.

But you must not have received them, Daily News, for you continue to show up at my door day after day. I tried to reason with you, but you still refuse to speak, preferring to mock me in silence from the end of my driveway.

You are stubborn, Daily News. You do not listen.

But know this: I have made my decision, and no number of unannounced visits will make me change my mind. I do love you, Daily News, but we must part. Besides, we'll always have the web.

Yours,
Dan Evans

And the Hunt Begins...

As I've mentioned a dozen times, I am getting married. Since I do wedding photography, in addition to my day job as a mid-level bureaucrat, it has fallen upon me to secure the services of a photographer.

I have been procrastinating, I'll admit, since the whole of the process seemed weird to me. I have an idea of what I want, truly, but I'm not sure whether I'll be able to get it. Will I be able to afford it? And, since I'm really only doing this part-time, I have few, if any, contacts amongst wedding photographers. I'm really as in the dark as can be.

This, of course, makes me completely typical of my clients, most of whom have never hired a photographer before, don't really know what to expect, and are a touch nervous about spending the amount of money most shooters ask for. Though I do have an understanding of why photography costs what it does, I am pretty much in the dark otherwise.

However, I am going to swallow my anxiety and venture forth into the jungle of commercial wedding photography. As I already advertise on The Knot, I've started there. I'll post my thoughts on the website design, portfolio and pricing of each person I decide to take a closer look at. Heck, it'll probably be educational for all involved.

More bulletins as events warrant. (The Burbank Follower will be posted later this afternoon.)

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 8

See what happens when I go Christmas shopping? I miss a ton o'Burbank news. In case you did as well, here's what happened in the Media City.

Friday, December 15

FOUR ARRESTED AT SOBRIETY CHECKPOINT
The Friday night checkpoint, at San Fernando Boulevard and Delaware Road, netted three drivers, drunk, and one sober - with an outstanding warrant. (KNBC's headline, oddly, states that three were arrested.) KNBC.

MARRIOTT TAKES OVER AIRPORT CONVENTION CENTER
The hotel and convention center was owned previously by Hilton. Leader.

SCHIFF APPOINTED TO APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE
The congressman, whose district includes areas of Glendale and Burbank, was nominated to the post by fellow Valley Democrat Brad Sherman. Leader.

Saturday, December 16

DJ SUSPENED FOR ON-AIR FREAKOUT
Clear Channel Radio suspends KFI host Bill Handel for threatening fellow yakker Jamie White on-air Friday morning. Incensed by comments White, who works at sister station KYSR, made off-air to his preteen daughters, Handel shouted, "If you ever talk to my kids like that again, I'm going to kick your ass." The stations' studios are located in Burbank. LAT. Background article here.

Sunday, December 17

HORSE OWNERS VS. WHOLE FOODS
Home and horse-owners in the Rancho neighborhood of Burbank push back against plans for the upscale grocery, complaining the increased traffic will spook the horses. NYT. The Gray Lady followed a Dec. 4 article in the Daily News. (The DN link has expired, but the LAist article on the issue can be found here.)

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 7

QUINCY JONES DEFENDS NICOLE RICHIE
Judging from reader comments, most people think Jones may have well kept his mouth shut. San Francisco Chronicle.

Man. Is that all that's happening in the world o'Burbank today? That's sorta sad.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 6

YEARLONG PLAY FESTIVAL
The festival, 365 Plays, moves to a small theater in Burbank. LAist.

RICHIE HAS PREVIOUS DUI
The saga of Rong-Way Richie continues. She apparently has a 2002 driving under the influence conviction, meaning jail time if convicted of her latest run-in. TMZ.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 5

LAS VEGAS MARATHON
A Burbanker (or, perhaps a Burbankette) recounts his/her running the Las Vegas Marathon in under five hours. Lucky Star. Ugh. I ran the New Orleans Marathon in 2004 - the one right before Katrina - and I shall not likely do it again. Marathons hurt, yo.

RONG-WAY RICHIE FOLLOW-UP
And, yes, I realize I can no longer make sighing sounds about the hype surrounding the Nichole Richie vs. the 134 deal if I continue to post about it. I'm weirdly fascinated, OK? TMZ.

WI-FI IN BURBANK
The City Council hears proposals on making wi-fi available citywide. Study pending on whether the service should be free or subscription-based. Leader.

SAVED FROM THE SHREDDER
A Burbank councilman wants to look at a documents scheduled for destruction. Other members of the council think it's silly. Leader.

BURBANK MAN GETS 50 YEARS IN KILLING
Herman Delos Rios, 54, receives a 50-year sentence for the March 2005 murder of Sunny Henrig. Leader. The subhed in the print edition notes that Rios "could be given parole in just 24 years." Huh. In 24 years, Rios will be 78. If he makes it that long, he's not likely to be much a danger to society, but whadda I know?

NBC STUDIO EXPANSION
A proposed expansion of the NBC-Universal property will likely impact Burbank traffic...and not in the positive direction. Leader.

Tripping the Triforium Fantastic

Whoa.

I stumbled down the Temple Street steps of Los Angeles City Hall this evening, my eyes fixed. It lives. It lives!

The weirdest public art in Los Angeles - the Triforium - now comes complete with blinking lights. The six-story art installation at Temple and Los Angeles streets - ridiculed at its unveiling, bemoaned by judges and largely ignored by the public - shines again brightly. Starting tonight.

The Burbank Follower, Vol. 1, No. 4

So, not surprisingly, I have decided to change the name of the blog from the quasi-lame Burbank Bureau of Intelligence to the quasi-amusing The Burbank Follower. Why? Well, since I'm aggregating news and blogs about Burbank, I'm hardly breaking anything... hence, I'm following. Also, it is an amusing take on our LA Times-owned local community insert, The Burbank Leader. So, there ya go. Enjoy.

ADVENTURE HIKE... FOR YOUR PET
Heh. Gotta love LA. Personalized adventure hikes (in Burbank, no less) for you and your pet. Look Sparky, it's the Smokehouse! Eventful.

SLEEPER CELL
A crew from the Showtime series films at the Starlight Bowl. Gazette.com.

Burbank Bureau of Intelligence, Vol. 1, No. 3

NICOLE RICHIE
Blog fall-out from Nicole Richie's late night arrest for going the wrong-way on the 134 in Burbank. Amusing use of "celebutante" in The Times... is that a word? Evil Beet. TMZ. LA Observed. LAT.

RICHARD DREYFUSS
Snarky coverage of a get-rich-quick conference to be headlined by Richard Dreyfuss on Jan. 10 at the Burbank Airport Hilton. TMZ.

Speaking of Tori Spelling

Huh. So maybe that's what she's dining with the hoi poli (see earlier posting below) ... She needs the cash. Daily News.

Burbank Bureau of Intelligence, Vol. 1, No. 2

CITY WI-FI
The Burbank City Council will consider expanding wi-fi to the entire city at its next meeting Dec. 12. Who's gonna pay? Leader.

KNITTING FACTORY
A Baltimore-based knitter has a nice time in our lovely town. The Hook and I.

BIG DOG
No, not the Los Angeles firefighter. A Sunland resident finds a way to take a dog from Burbank to Baton Rouge. Creekhiker.

Sister Sister Sister

Note: This review also appears on Losanjealous.com

Sister's Christmas Catechism
By Maripat Donovan
Brentwood Theatre
Dec. 5 - 17
Tickets: $40
Runtime: approx. two hours

Jesus. I'm lost.

Where the hell is the Brentwood Theatre? (And where do they get off with the snotty British spelling of "theater" anyhow?) Allegedly at the corner of Wilshire and San Vincente, the theater is more accurately at the corner of Random Building and Raised Parking Lot in the far west corner of the Westside VA complex.

Once found - via the usual incantation of curse words coupled with random wandering - the venue underwhelms. It has the feel of a pricey private school theater (think Harvard Westlake), which is, well, perfect, since the one-nun show is set in a parochial classroom.

As in the other two Sister's Catechism plays, we, the audience, are the students. The lights are left on - quite disquieting to a generation that prefers its entertainment in darkened rooms - and immodest dress and poor posture is frowned upon.

Though it drags toward the end, the show is funny, weirdly educational, and, in a word, brilliant. It also is the first show I've seen commencing with Star-Spangled Banner sung by a homeless group.

Scolding latecomers, praising the largely Jewish audience for their knowledge of obscure Catholic saints, and doling out Vatican II wisdom with a side of sharp wit, Maripat Donovan (Sister) almost makes you want to go to church again. Well, almost.

Los Angeles

The spellchecker for Blogger does not know "Los Angeles." Just thought you should know.

City Hall Musing - Retirement Posters

Yet another thing about the Pointy Building that confuses me: retirement announcements.

Nearly every week, Los Angeles City Hall is plastered with dozens of fliers announcing the retirement party of so-and-so, celebrating their lifetime of city service. Sure it's impressive, and a tad frightening, to think that someone has held steady employ here for 36 years, but if I don't know the dude, why do I care?

I don't mean to be rude or cynical, but, damnit, it's weird. I wonder what would happen if people started crashing these parties. I wonder if there's a secret society of bored city workers who go to ALL these things. Fess up people.

City Hall Elevator Music - Part 1

First in an occasional series...

Metrolink, my friends, is a gift. I take it most mornings to the City Hall phallus, skirting the aggravating traffic of the Golden State Freeway, through a thoroughly ugly section of Glendale, and past the sludge that is the Los Angeles River.

This morning, I took the 8:35 am train from the downtown Burbank station (which arrived at 8:39, natch.) This is the late train, empty but for myself, the conductor and a surly-looking Asian dude with wraparound sunglasses.

And, indeed, I was late. Late because I had to return an unwanted, unordered and overpriced cell phone to the overloads at T-Mobile. That story, though long, is uninteresting, and I shall not share it here.

I got to City Hall at about 9:10 a.m. Late, but not so late that my tardiness would be noticed. The sun was (and is) shinning, and the weather forecast was for a 70-degree day. Add in the fact that it's Friday, and you have a happy and content bureaucrat.

Not so much with my elevator-mate this morning. The doors of the express elevator swung open, revealing a woman, blankly staring ahead. After determining she did not plan to exit, I stepped in.

"Good morning," I said.

"Mmm," she said.

"It's a beautiful day," I said. "Supposed to be nice all weekend. Gotta love LA."

"Oh," she said. "Where are you visiting from?"

"Umm," I replied, confused. "Burbank? I work here."

The elevator dinged, alerting all and sundry that we had reached the third floor. The woman exited without a word.

Yoga, Downtown

This afternoon, in my semi-regular attempt to get (and remain) healthy, I went to the downtown yoga place during my lunch hour. Now, mind you, this took a tad bit of negotiation on my part, as the class is 90 minutes long - and most assuredly requires a shower at the end.

As I've mentioned, I am part of the wondrous machine called Los Angeles City Government, and bureaucratic types are generally opposed to two-hour lunches.

Stop laughing.

My boss, anyhow, is opposed to two-hour lunches, and I had to promise to make up the time. And I do. Really.

Anyhow, the class this afternoon truly kicked my ass... I haven't been going on a particularly regular basis - and it's rather amazing how quickly you lose whatever flexibility and stamina you've so painfully built up. Second, I have noticed that some instructors heat the room much more than others.

Even worse, some are fond of pumping up the humidity, making the place a tropical house of pain. And, damnit, there she was.

To be fair, of course, my pain today had much more to do with a lack of practice and an uncharacteristically wussified pain threshold than the heat.... But, damnit, it didn't help.

Random & Mostly Pointless Celebrity Sighting

The Great India Cafe sneaks up on you, wedged between the highly-priced-and-uncomfortable-looking-furniture-palace and a we-can't-believe-they-let-us-open-a-porn-store-in-Studio-City porn store. We pulled up to a prized bit of after-hours street parking (!), waved to a bored-looking valet, and ambled toward the door.

Ahh, the Great India. The Christmas-light filled patio. The savory sauces, the sumptuous nan! The random A-minus pregnant celebrity in the corner! Wait, what?

Yes, indeed, a rather round Tori Spelling sat in the corner with a gent, presumably her husband. I did not recognize either, actually. My geekery tends toward politicos, not actors. But Donna, a clandestine reader of Star and US Weekly, certainly did, stage-whispering the sighting over shrimp tiki-masala.

That's nice, really. People in Wisconsin have bird-watching. In LA we have celebrity sightings. Of course, no sighting is really complete without a long (and completely subjective) discussion as to the rating of the sighting. Does Tori Spelling count as a A-list sighting? A-minus? B-plus? We settled on A-minus. No reason, really. Just seemed correct.

But it certainly raised the profile of the Great India Cafe in my mind... Not that it was bad before. Donna and I ate there about a six weeks ago, following a school-related cocktail party. (Yeah, I know. I went to public school.) It was full of good wine, wealthy private-school parents and little in the way of food. When surrounded by such people, the thinking couple drinks... and this thinking couple did just that.

And, because drinking more seems to make sense after heavy drinking, we stupidly got another bottle of wine at the restaurant. After seeing the results - uproarious laughter at fart jokes, mainly - the staff was kind enough to offer us a ride home. We declined, preferring the comforts of a taxi. But, damnit, that was nice. Especially after I accidentally spilled some sort of orange sauce on the floor.

Ah, LA.

The Incontinent Racist

I JUST WANTED to go to yoga.

I do a kind of yoga called Bikram Yoga, which involves being in a room heated to 106 degrees, while you stretch and bend in ways that would make Mary Lou Retton blanch. As you might guess, this causes a fair amount of sweat, and the Atwater Village studio invariably smells of feet.

It smells bad, friends. Real bad. But that smell was nothing quite like the olfactory assault endured this very evening during my commute. By bus.

“What?!” I hear you say. “You live in Los Angeles. Only day laborers, nannies and homeless men travel by bus in Los Angeles. A mid-level bureaucrat like yourself should travel via a sensible, beige, automobile, presumably a Camry.”

Yes, the Camry is indeed beige. I tried calling it “light gray” once, but that sounded, well, worse. Still, I hate traffic more than the average Angeleno, and the bus, in my silly, silly mind, was a relaxing way to avoid it.

Wrong. Bus travel in Los Angeles is similar to the Hobbesian musing about the human condition: nasty, brutish and short. Well, except the short part.

I left City Hall at 5:34 p.m., plenty of time to make the 6:30 class at the studio, a mere 7.3 miles away. When an asthmatic Kenyan marathoner could cover the distance in the time required, one naturally presumes that travel by the magical internal combustion engine will be swifter.

No.

After some confusion about where, exactly I needed to go to pick up the 91 Sylmar, I found my stop. It was in a logical location, at the corner of Spring and Temple streets, in the shadows of City Hall (i.e. “The People’s Place of Business.”)

I, however, was across the street, alongside a sign proclaiming a stop for the 92 Sylmar. I presumed the 91 would stop at the same place as the 92. Silly Dan.

Imagine my surprise, then, as I saw the 91 stop across the street. The light and luck were with me, and I ran across the street just in time and boarded.

The bus was packed, standing room only. I jimmied my way into the only spot left, eight feet behind the driver.

The man seated at first base, the spot closest to the front and opposite the driver, wore a fake fur coat, a ball cap covering his balding hair and several layers of flannel. As it was all of 85 degrees this evening, I thought this odd. He spoke passionately in monologue to the driver, ranting about the poor state of the world as it related to (in order): women, Asians, Jews, gays, bisexuals, lesbians and Dick Cheney. He might taken on blacks, Islam and Al Gore, but I was only going to Glendale.

I hardly feel bad about the piling on of our current vice-president, who is STILL being pilloried for shooting an old man in the face. But the man’s tirade was filled with such amazing ignorance and hate I began to feel queasy. And remember, I lived in New York.

I began to feel a bit bad for the driver, as the poor man couldn’t exactly change his seat. And then the driver spoke.

“Yup. You’re completely on it, man. Fuck them. Fuck them all.”

Huh.

When I first got my driver’s license, my mother told me to “never drive angry.” This ironic advice, mind you, since whenever she got angry, she would go for a drive. It calmed her down.

The Sylmar 92 driver, on the other hand, grew angrier at each mile. And, oh dear God, he suddenly had a reason: a man in a parked car opened his door in front of the bus, causing the driver to screech to a halt.

The driver honked, which, as any West Coast driver knows, was the equivalent of insulting the memory of the driver’s dead grandmother. The honk elicited a rude, and common, reaction from the man.

As expected, this incensed the driver and sparked a treatise against Asian drivers, Asian men, and his sincere belief that “some people are just to fucking dumb to live.”

True. I agree. Some people are too dumb to live. However, ill-advised as this man may have been to open his car door in the path of a 15-ton MTA local, he possesses more intelligence than, say, your average Golden Retriever. (Then again, so might a glass of lukewarm water, but I digress.) But we care for and love Golden Retrievers. Perhaps man-opening-door deserves a bit of the charity we grant hairy furballs.

No. Driver man would disagree. Heartily, I presume.

The driver, goaded on by first-base man, continued his rant for a good five minutes. This may not seem like a long time, if compared to movie watching or football, but is a hell of a long time when you have nothing else to do, and the smell of pee and half-digested popcorn hangs in the air.

Oh, right. The smell.

From the moment I got on the bus, that putrescence, that fetid awfulness, that rotted-ass stench took over my nostrils. My eyes watered a couple of times, and I seriously considered walking the remaining distance, if only to escape that 60-foot moving hell. However, I was fascinated by first-base man and the driver, and I stayed.

I was convinced the smell was coming from a frumpy looking man behind me. He certainly looked the part: dirty clothes, downcast gaze and the skin condition that Michael Jackson said turned him into, well, Michael Jackson. He looked weird, ya dig? Weird. But he was very polite, I will note, giving up his seat to an elderly woman with dark glasses.

Turns out, I was wrong about the rancid odor’s origin. The suspected smelly got off somewhere on San Fernando Road, in an area that I wouldn’t visit without the wrench, the library or Colonel Mustard. The smell remained.

Then I saw them: the pee stains. First-base man had them all over his denim. At least six circular stains marked the left side of his trousers, indicating a lack of care, control or colostomy maintenance. Crumbs sprinkled the bottom of those pants, and a trace of sweat glistened from his brow.

My stop, my deliverance, approached. I pulled the cable. I stepped into the fresh Glendale air, completely late for my class. And since they don’t allow people to come in late (very un-LA, I might point out), I came home. And wrote this.
2 Comments

Adam Rakunas
Sorry to hear about the bad ride. Sounds like the dice rolled against you right off the bat. I used public transit to get from Santa Monica to Gardena before changing jobs; it was a hell of a shlep, but I got a lot of writing and reading done. And, yeah, there were drunks and racists and lunatics on my commute, but that's life in the big city.
Thursday, July 6, 2006 - 03:14 PM


BeenThereSeenThat
It's hard to be enviromentally friendly isn't it. When I lived in LA during my High School years I had to ride the bus and the unique characters and outright stench they were carrying with them will remain seared in my memory. As for life in the big city well I live in Santa Cruz, CA now and we have these exact same characters here( although they are generally more politically correct if not crazier and smellier) and there are only 60K people in this burg.
Friday, July 7, 2006 - 09:29 AM

Album Frustrations *

I SWEAR. EVEN WITH five years of ever-increasing Mac usage, there are so many places that seem to want nothing to do with us quirky Apple users. The latest case in point is a company called http://www.mypublisher.com/. I truly dig their stuff: nice format, nice printing, nice price, nice everything.

Except, as it turns out, the ability to do it on a Mac.

MyPublisher does, I’ll admit, feature an iPhoto plug in, allowing Mac users to access a limit number of its products. But, not all. Alas, the products that are not available via the plug in are the ones I want: the big hardcover albums. I wrote customer service, and was told that there are no plans to expand the albums available to Mac users. Bummer.

* Dec. 5, 2006 Update *

I did find a workaround, albeit an annoying one. I installed a PC emulator on my Mac (don't try this at home, kids... ugh), which now allows me to use the famed MyPublisher.com.

The Point of Megapixels

OFTEN WHEN people are shopping around for wedding photography, or for photography of any kind, they want to know about the megapixels. Often, this is the first question, and I certainly understand, as it’s the most understandable figure, and the one touted the highest in advertising for cameras.

Unfortunately, though, it is one of the most misleading figures in photography. A higher megapixel number will allow a particular digital image to be blown up farther (i.e. larger) than one with a smaller number. On wedding shoots, I use a Nikon D70 and a D70s, both of which shoot at 6.1 megapixels. This figure surprises some people, as some of the lower-end point and shoots advertise at 8 megapixels and up. They assume that the D70 must be a lousy camera because of the lower figure, or at least makes me suspect as a photographer.

Sigh. No. I do know what I’m doing.

I happen to love my D70, due to its easy of use, battery life, durability and Nikon name. I’ve been using Nikons since my mom gave me her old tank of a Nikonmat in the mid 80s. The megapixel number on the D70 pretty much limits me to enlargement size. I have blown up images to 12x18, and I presume that I could go up to 20x30, but I just wouldn’t want to try. For 99% of my customers, 12x18 is a great size, and there is no need to go any larger.

Then again, you probably wouldn’t want to blow up a traditional film 35mm negative much bigger than 12x18 anyhow. There’s just simply a limit to how big you can enlarge these images. For people that want the bigger photos or gallery photos, I drag out my medium format film camera. This is the camera that wedding photographers have used since, well, someone figured out that the bigger negatives these cameras produce (about 2.5 times the area of a 35mm negative) allow bigger prints.

San Diego Photographer Ken Rockwell has a great discussion on this topic, if you’re interested: http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/mpmyth.htm

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Indiana Bureaucrat & the Urinal of Doom

IT SITS ON THE THIRD FLOOR OF LOS ANGELES CITY HALL, just beyond the prow of a ship emblem in the center of the polished floor. The bas relief cutter points to a nearby restroom, perhaps a symbol of the smooth-sailing goodness of a recently emptied bladder. This restroom seems normal enough: it has a wood door, the familiar blue triangle, and even the usual sharp tang of urine.

But this belies the true mystery found inside its cramped walls, for this room is haunted.

Several years ago, a normally unflappable colleague of mine sought relief in this most intimate of rooms. As the door creaked closed, he walked around the corner, following the nature call to the trio of urinals at the back corner.

This room also features three stalls, and inside one of these stalls was an average-looking man, if a tad short. The man had left the stall door open, and was contentedly peeing, seemingly oblivious to any other occupants.

His hair was red and spiked, and the clothes he wore seemed from another era, perhaps the 80s. Presuming the man had simply lost his way from Silver Lake, my friend went about his business, washed his hands, and left.

After exiting, my friend remembered he had forgotten his keys on the bathroom sink, and reentered the room to retrieve them. The room is fairly small, 15 feet by 8 feet at most, and he fully expected to see the redheaded man again.

But he was gone. Vanished.

My friend refuses to use this particular restroom, positing that there is no need to visit the single haunted restroom in City Hall. There are at least a hundred other restrooms here at 200 N. Spring St., he claims, where the biggest danger one faces is a lack of sanitary seat covers (i.e. ass-gaskets or cowboy hats).

But I disagree. For the past six months, I have oft traveled the 22 floors between my office home and the Urinal of Doom, hoping to see this strange undead creature. My luck has not yet held out, but I am hopeful. Who was this man? Why wouldn’t he haunt the mayor’s private washroom, only yards from this smelly, public convenience?

More bulletins as events warrant.

Bikram Yoga & Random Blatherings

THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT that it makes me feel a bit too SoCal to say it: I’m seriously digging the Bikram yoga. There’s a place that recently opened downtown (on Temple, across from the DWP building). It has several advantage for me: first, it’s close to City Hall, it doesn’t smell like feet (yet) and they give a discount to all government employees.

Heh. It still makes me laugh a little bit. Gov’t Employee. Like Gov’t Cheese, it doesn’t exactly have the greatest of connotations. Still, it allows me the time to do my wedding photography (whereas journalism just wore me out), a bit of art photography, and reduce some of the debt I got into whilst trying to make it as a freelancer.

One more random thought: The DWP (Dept. of Water & Power, for those outside the lovely LA basin) building on Temple usually has ALL of its lights on. Now, is this still the case? I’ll check back with an update... But, as always, feel free to leave your own thoughts.

Suicide in Bb - The Review

Suicide in Bb by Sam Shephard
Playing Thursday, Friday & Saturday @ 8 p.m.
October 20th - November 16th
Runtime: Approx. 80 minutes, no intermission

The Hayworth Theater
2511 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90057

Tickets:
Plays411
www.plays411.com/suicide
or 323-960-7740

$20 General Admission
$15 Seniors/Students/SAG & AFTRA & AEA Members
$30 Opening & Closing Nights (catered)

Sam Shephard, a product of the Pasadena City College and a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright, is one weird mother. Often, you are hard pressed to figure out whether his statements are as odd or otherwise anachronistic as they appear -- or just merely ironic. The play is a tough one, dealing with the dark side of fame, the inescapability of fate, the heredity of madness. Do you need to kill yourself to live? Could you stop yourself?

(Sam Shepherd, interestingly enough, shares a similar name with Dr. Sam Sheppard, the doctor accused of bludgeoning his pregnant wife to death. That is, the plot line behind “The Fugitive.” Dr. Sheppard died in 1970, while the playwright Shepherd still draws oxygen.)

The play is alternately subtle and aggressive, always demanding your attention. Many of the plot lines are ambiguous, but seem to be purposefully so. The acting is riveting, and production quality is top notch. The main feature of the set -- a cutout of a prone figure -- draws your eyes and sets the tone of the piece.


This rarely performed play has the feel of a riff, a series of notes put together, almost at random, that pull together to create its whole. It is a trick to give this piece the discombobulated overtones it requires without driving its audience nuts. Fortunately, the actors and director were clearly up to the task, and it works. It confounds, but not to the point of distraction, and gives you the tools to make up your own mind.

Strange Day

It’s been one of those days where I’ve been feeling, well, restless. I get this way from time to time, often enough that anyone that knows me much at all knows to ignore it. Despite this, or, more likely, because of it, I need to write, and write I shall. Topic A on the brainwaves this eve is MY CAREER.

For six years, I was a member of the fourth estate... laughingly referred to as “the working press.” About four years in, I took a hiatus of sorts to get my master’s degree in journalism from the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism. Damn fine school. I hope to, one day, make enough to contribute generously to the alumni fund... If only to reimburse the poor school for all the postage costs they’ve sent since 2003, pleading for said donation.

Following the degree, I spent another two years honing my craft until, well, I hit a brick wall. My job was not fulfilling me, either personally or professionally, and I was feeling wood-fired crispy. I checked out, and decided to try and make a go of it as a photographer, something that had been my passion since college. I did it for about four months, with my main client being the newspaper I had just left... I guess there is something to be said for leaving on good terms.

But I was broke. I didn’t have the skills, the contacts, the knowledge or even much of a portfolio. Writing clips will only get you so far as a photographer. Usually just the door, and not the one marked “in” either. So I took a job, the full-time employ I currently hold, as an investigator for the LA City Ethics Commission. It’s a hell of a lot slower than journalism, something which drives me to continual distraction.

And, though many of the things I do during the day remind me of my previous life (e.g., making phone calls, figuring out connections, getting scolded by lawyers) it is DECIDEDLY not journalism. I write things few people outside my boss read; cases sometimes take six months to a year to progress from investigation (i.e. me) to prosecution (i.e. my bosses); I am severely curtailed in what I can write for public consumption... Hell, I have no idea if this very blog would be frowned upon.

Basically, this job is not me. However, for the first time in my professional life, I am not going home twisted in stress three nights out of five. I have ample time off, sick time and vacation. I am paying down my debts, since my salary is actually close to what someone of my education and training should make... I am actually saving (for the first time) for my retirement.

The age-old question, right? Security or dreams? And, damnit, what am I dreaming about? That, though, will be a topic for another posting. I’m getting tired. Thanks for reading.

Random City Thoughts

The Department of Building & Safety has the second-worse hold music in Los Angeles. The music is Casio-keyboard Reggie. I’ve heard better ringtones. The city-crown for worst hold music, though, must go to the Los Angeles Daily Journal, which repeats, ad nauseam, “Fur Elise” in monotone chimes.

Earlier this week (10/3), I chatted with a man who pointed out, with a degree of awe, that Mayor Antonio was doing a television interview outside City Hall. Seeing as the mayor and I work in the same building, I got a far larger charge out of the fact that the man was part of a crew filming “The Nine.” When you work in politics, the entertainment biz seems very cool; I had no idea that the opposite was also true.

Bamboo will grow, nay thrive, in a windowless office, neglected by its owner. What kind of devil plant is bamboo, anyhow? And is it bad luck to have an even number of stalks, or odd?

If an unwritten rule falls in a forest, does it create a policy? Is there a memo involved?

Stephen & Julia

These photos were taken during the wedding of Stephen & Julia, which occurred on Sept. 23, 2006. In fact, I blogged a touch about this in “Far Too Long.” However, I ain’t done... I wanted to share a few of my favorite photos from that event.

But first, about Stephen and Julia: they rock! The party they threw was an incredible amount of fun. They really made me and my assistant, Tracy, feel like we were not just there to do a job. The flowers were great, the lighting was wonderful, the band was a kick.

You can also really see the joy in their eyes... They really fell for one another, and will certainly have a long and happy life together.

Dan Vs. The Master Cleanse *

Following a day (nay weekend) of drinking, general tomfoolery and excess, I have decided to begin today on something called The Master Cleanse. It involves consuming nothing but lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper for a recommended 10 days... Well, there is one another ingredient: a healthy helping of laxative tea. It seems completely nuts, but since I’m continually open to new things, I thought I’d try it. The photo above of me at a kilt (taken at the Highland Games in Ventura over the weekend) should prove just that.

I got Donna to play along, at least for awhile. She, however, is very concerned about the alarming instructions that one “be close to a toilet.” As a teacher, Donna has rather limited abilities to make emergency runs. My work, as a photographer/mid-level bureaucrat, has far more leeway in this regard.

The photo to the left depicts my morning, afternoon and evening meals for the immediate future. It tastes, as advertised, rather good. The cayenne pepper, so far, has been making me cough a bit, but otherwise, it’s just fine. Of course, it’s all of 9:30 a.m. on the first day of this faintly ridiculous experiment.

So, what follows from this is a daily log about my feelings, experiences and temperament while on this bizarre crash diet called “The Master Cleanse.”

MONDAY - 180 lbs., Feeling Good

I made a batch of the mixture for myself and Donna, using a bunch of lemons I bought for the purpose at Trader Joe’s. Now, as instructed, these are organic lemons, which are small, hard and not very juicy. It took the better part of a half-hour just to squeeze a half-cup out of the damn things. I believe I will be forgoing the “organic” label, and jumping straight for the big frankenfood lemons when I get to the store later today. Also, man, is there a lot of cayenne in this thing! My nose is sweating and my eyes are beginning to run. (Put that images back where it belongs.)

Though I do feel a touch heavy these days, the myriad of website regarding the Master Cleanse (or “The Lemonade Diet”) continually warn that this is not supposed to be a weight loss technique. Though you will lose weight on this diet (duh), it will not stay off, as the majority of the weight is, well, water weight, which will be gained right back. We’ll see.

I believe the most difficult part of this whole exercise for me will be staying away from coffee. Going out will be a pain, since I’ll be somewhat embarrassed to tell my friends: “Nothing for me, thanks. I’m on a fad diet used mostly by New Age hipsters and tweens with eating disorders in Silver Lake.” However, maybe if I take the ribbing, I’ll learn something about my friends and myself (cue the “Fat Albert” music here.)

And, away we go.

First thought: I”m feeling a touch woozy, actually. I wonder what that’s all about. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Now it’s the afternoon, and I’m feeling a bit better. It does feel weird not to have eaten anything today. I’ve heard that people really miss the sensation of chewing as much as anything. Personally, I think it’s going to be difficult to avoid the social awkwardness of not eating/drinking. It seems like it’s more of a diet on one’s social life than anything else.

TUESDAY

It’s over. I felt awful... Donna and I both had the worst headaches all day long, I was continually running to the bathroom. One of my coworkers, Shannon, told me that “of course you felt that way... you were getting toxins out.” Well, damnit. I love my toxins. I’m going to have a big glass of toxins right now.

Drinking at the Roosevelt

After years of seeking out bars with no names, surly bouncers and haughty starlets, I have decided to call it quits. To hell with them, I say. In fact, I will only frequent watering holes that loudly proclaim their existence... In line with this new philosophy, Donna and I went to the Roosevelt Hotel bar, amusingly named “Library.”

It was a Friday night, around 8 p.m. The bar was dead quiet, save for a couple of English tourists who asked if our waitress if they had to pay for the chips. We were going to see Quinceanera at The Arclight, and needed a bit of grub and drink to start off the night right.

The place is dark, with incredibly comfortable chairs and a friendly wait staff. Since it’s a hotel, it has free wifi, which is very cool. In a way, it looks like an upscale Hotel Figueroa.