Sky Room, Long Beach

THE FOLLOWING IS a totally biased review of a supposed five-star restaurant in Long Beach called the Sky Room. From what you may have already guessed from my o’ so subtle headline, I’m none too pleased with the service at this place.

Donna, Meredith (see the Wedding Dresssss entry) and I showed up to the Sky Room on Saturday. Donna had already spoken to the event manager about possibly having our wedding reception there, and the girl was all but sold. She did nothing but rave about how great the view was, how highly rated the food was (it’s listed in Zagat if you’re of a mind to look it up), etc. She was also quite drawn to the significant discount the Sky Room offered if one would deign to have the wedding on a Sunday, instead of the usual Saturday.

And, of course, it’s nice that she wanted my opinion. I was tempted to just let her make the choice and be done with it, but damn, I’m glad it worked out differently.

Saturday rolls around, and the three of us amble down the 710 to Long Beach. I happen to love Long Beach, probably one of the last affordable beach communities in Southern California. Of course, this being Southern California, “affordable” is a somewhat ridiculous term, but I digress. The Sky Room sits just below Pine Avenue, and next to the Performing Arts Center. Weirdly, it is on top of a senior living facility.

The entrance is a small doorway on a side street. Valet is not required, but almost seems necessary. Guests are escorted to a dedicated elevator by doormen in top hats and tuxedos. I suppose it’s supposed to be a nice touch, but the top hats seem really strange. The guy who showed us to the elevator was a tall, thin African American... An African American dressed in a top hat and tails makes me feel like I’ve uncomfortably stepped into 1840s Mississippi.

Anyhow, I believe I’ve gone on too long as regards this silly adventure, so I’ll just get to the point: the service was stuffy, rude and uncompromising. Donna wanted to order an appetizer and a salad, as did Meredith. The waiter, after checking with the general manager, refused. Apparently this policy is in place to keep people from ordering a bread and water... But the fact that they had just ordered an $78 bottle of champagne should have clued the staff into realizing we weren’t a bunch of cheapos.

But the kicker came about halfway into the meal. At that point, the waiter came up and uttered the following: “I have to be politically correct and offer you a soufflé.” I really believed he meant he wanted to make up for the earlier problems. (Moments earlier Donna had complained, in a fit of semi-Bridezilla-ness, that the bread and butter were too cold.)

It showed up on the bill. Bastard.

So, we are now again searching for a venue for our wedding. The current finalist is The Madison, which is a very cool steakhouse at the corner of Pine and Ocean in Long Beach. It’s also the site of Donna and my third date.

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