Burbank Follower 1.30.09

I actually wasn't going to do one of these today, as I found nearly shite about Burbank in our local news-content-providers. However, here's a bit of Burbank-related news you may have missed.

Starving Yourself to Live
The newest trend, so sez the LA Times, is starvation diets. That is, people desiring to lose weight simply put down the fork -- and don't pick it up. Is it safe? Ruth Frechman, a Burbank-based registered dietitian says it's generally a bad idea. LA Times (The date stamp on this one is Feb. 2, 2009... I'm waaay ahead of the curve on this one.)

Fitness Fashion
In a related story (I've always wanted to write that), the Times picks up on fashion in Los Angeles-area fitness centers, focusing on Burn Studios in Burbank. LA Times (This one is dated Feb. 1, 2009. What the hell is going on?)

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Shameless Plug Alert
I run a wedding, event and portrait photography business. If you have any need for such services, please think of me. Samples of my work can be viewed at www.danevans.org and at danielevans.smugmug.com.
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The State of Newspapers

Oi. It looks like things are going to get worse before they get better... And fewer and fewer people seem to be believe that it ever will. The LA Times semi-announced that it is killing the California section, deciding to fold local news into the front section. They do this at their peril, I'm afraid.

I currently get the Times, but only Thursday-Sunday, and only because I was offered those days for $39 a year. A year! Good deal. I can probably find enough coupons to make money on the deal. Besides, I still like reading the paper. I find I read the stories more thoroughly than when I read articles online.

And, besides, if newspapers go out of business, the news aggregation sites and blogs that bitch about the MSM they depend upon will go out of business. Ahh.

Anyhow, check out this video of a 1981 KRON video about the rise of Internet news:

The Burbank Follower 1.29.08

Burbank Leader Website Redesign
Clearly, I've been out of it for awhile, but it looks like the Burbank Leader has a new look. I like it. Leader.

Council Wrap
Playground equipment, bike lanes, development deadlines, oh my! Leader.

Homeless Shelter Operators Looking for New Site
The Union Rescue Mission, which operates a shelter at the Burbank National Guard Armory, is seeking an alternative site. The Armory will be closed Feb. 6-8 and March 6-8 for, presumably, Armory-type-activities. Leader.

Airport Curfew Study
Stop me if you've heard this one already: The good people at Bob Hope Airport have agreed to spend $6 million on whether people are annoyed by airplane noise. Sigh. Leader.

Saturday Rally About Chandler Crossing
Edison Elementary parents hope to goad the City Council into making the crossing at Keystone Street and Chandler Boulevard safer for the kiddies. (I live near that intersection, and it's a nightmare.... Good luck, guys.) Leader.

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Shameless Plug Alert
I run a wedding, event and portrait photography business. If you have any need for such services, please think of me. Samples of my work can be viewed at www.danevans.org and at danielevans.smugmug.com.
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Upcoming Burbank Election Schedule

From the City of Burbank Website: 

February 2, 2009 -- Semi Annual Statement due 

Period covered is 7/1/2008 through 12/31/2008

February 3, 2009 -- Last day to mail Sample Ballots (BMC 2-3-1201)

February 9, 2009 --  Last day to register to vote in Primary Election

February 10, 2009 -- Last day to file as write-in candidate

February 12, 2009 -- Campaign Expenditure Report #2 due (GC 84200.8)
Period covered is 1/11/09 - 2/7/09

February 20, 2009 -- Additional Pre-Election Campaign Expenditure Report #3 due
(BMC 2-3-2506). Period covered is 2/8/09 - 2/18/09

February 21, 2009 -- Saturday Voting in City Clerk’s Office and Ballot Drop-Off Sites
10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

City Hall – 275 E. Olive Avenue
Joslyn Center – 1301 W. Olive Avenue
Tuttle Center – 1731 N. Ontario Street
Buena Vista Library – 300 N. Buena Vista Street
McCambridge Recreation Center – 1515 N. Glenoaks Blvd.

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Shameless Plug Alert

I run a wedding, event and portrait photography business. If you have any need for such services, please think of me. Samples of my work can be viewed at www.danevans.org and at danielevans.smugmug.com.
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The Burbank Follower 1.28.09

So, just to revive a feature of the blog-past, here's your semi-regular roundup of Burbank news... 

Federal Grant to Insulate Burbank Homes

A $7 million grant from the U.S. Department of Transportation will be used to insulate homes near Bob Hope Airport in Burbank from jet noise. CNS

Maybe Time for Whole Foods, Says Burbank Leader Reader
"I am a new Burbank resident, but have always enjoyed spending time here, going to the movies or shopping. With the current economy and drop in spending, we are seeing a lot of businesses either closing their doors or leaving town..." Leader

Pasadena Public Transit Facing Financial Difficulties 

Other city-operated bus lines -- like Burbank's -- may be facing shortfall. Star-News

Burbank Masons Celebrate Anniversary

The local order has been around for 100 years now. Leader

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Shameless Plug Alert

I run a wedding, event and portrait photography business. If you have any need for such services, please think of me. Samples of my work can be viewed at www.danevans.org and at danielevans.smugmug.com.
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Almost gave on me, didya?

So, after an extraordinary hiatus, I'm back to blogging. Frankly, I'm amazing that this little site gets dozens (dozens!) of readers, despite a lack of any new information for, umm, nearly a year.

But, the good people at Blogger (thanks Google!) don't kick one off for a lack of writing. However, I notice that I'm still getting inquires about the Lasik procedure and the Metrolink ticket. Many people, it seems, still have eyesight they want corrected and/or fail to pay the fare.

So, then, here's the updates:

LASIK -- My eyes are still good. They itched something terrible for a few weeks, and I needed the eyedrops for about six weeks... But, then again, they said my eyes would itch and I would need eyedrops for about six weeks. I'm suspecting that the economy may blur (heh heh) the eye-repair business, but I've been pretty satisfied with the work. All my other criticisms still apply.

METROLINK -- I was forgiven the ticket. A couple of days prior to when I was scheduled to go to court (I even scheduled the day off), I received a note from LA Superior Court saying that my case had been dismissed. My impression (though, I must admit, I do not know for sure) is that Metrolink requested that the case be dismissed and the court obliged. I did send Metrolink (at Metrolink's request) a check for $5 (the cost of the trip in question), which I believe did the trick.

Bottom line: Pay your fare. It's a good deal, and getting caught without a valid ticket is a royal pain in the ass.

***
Shameless Plug Alert

I run a wedding, event and portrait photography business. If you have any need for such services, please think of me. Samples of my work can be viewed at www.danevans.org and at danielevans.smugmug.com.
***

Metrolink Citation - More Updates

Hello all... As you may recall, I received a citation for riding on Metrolink without a valid ticket. For a review of my previous postings on the topic, check here and here and here. Have you read 'em? Good.

Since that point, I've been getting a rather large number of hits and comments on the topic. Many people want to know, well, what happened. I have been somewhat remiss about sharing the conclusion of this little tale, so, without further ado:

My court date, as I recall, was Jan. 17, two months after I received the citation. I had, as the good people at Metrolink had requested, sent in the missing $5 fare. I had also filed an appeal of the issuance of the citation. I do not know if these were put into the same file, different files, or ignored completely. However, I received a letter from Metrolink in late December letting me know that my appeal had been denied.

I don't recall the exact language in the letter, but it said something along the lines of "...if you believe there are further circumstances regarding this citation, you should speak to the court at your hearing." Basically, "tell it to the judge, sucker." The letter was CC'd to the court.

Though I don't remember the exact wording of the Metrolink letter, I can tell you with fairly great accuracy that my next words were "dirty f***ing bastards!" You see, I thought I had been screwed: I had paid the missing $5 fare, and I was STILL on the hook for the $250 fine. Great. Maybe the judge would reduce it to $245.

So, fuming, I sent my own letter to the court, including all of my correspondence with Metrolink, and, essentially, laying out my defense. I think I sent a copy to Metrolink as well.

And, then, nothing. Christmas came and went, as did New Years and the post-New Years' hangover. Then, two days prior to the date of my hearing, I got a letter from the court.

Case dismissed, the letter said.

Now, why? I don't know. It's possible that Metrolink denied my citation appeal, pro forma, but still, as I had been told before, asked the court to dismiss my ticket. It's also possible that the judge that would have heard my case (I didn't know the name of the judge...all my letters simply went to the courthouse division dealing with my case) decided I had a point and saved me the trouble of showing up.

Though I'd love to say I convinced the judge, through the wisdom of my words, to toss my case, my guess is that Metrolink requested the dismissal. I did what they requested - paid my missing fare - and they did what they said they'd do - request a dismissal if I had no priors. The appeal, goes my thinking, was a separate process on whether the citation should have been issued in the first place. They decided it had been issued properly, so no dismissal.

Whatever the case, I ALWAYS get my ticket validated now. I've missed a few trains b/c of it, but it's worth it. Next time, I'm guessing, I'll get that fine, so I'm trying to avoid that next time.

Good luck to all of yous in similar circumstances.

Random Los Angeles Transit Minute

I went to the gym last night downtown. I belong to Bally's, which happened because my lovely wife had a membership there, and I certainly didn't want to become the resident fatbody while she became increasingly toned and sleek. 

The Bally's at 7th and Fig is usually pretty crowded, and last night was no exception. So crowded, in fact, that I wasn't able to get in a full workout, just 20 minutes on one of the resident elliptical machines. Still, I was sweaty, and that's a good thing. I left at around 7:15, intending to take the Red Line back to Union Station where I would catch the 7:35 p.m. Lancaster-bound Metrolink back to Burbank. 

I was staring absently at the transit map in the station when I heard a male voice: 

"Dan? Is your name Dan?" 

As it is, I turned. Before me stood a smiling Drew Coombs, a former colleague of mine at the LA Daily Journal. With him stood a woman named Alexia, who I remembered still did work at the Daily Journal and (I believe) is Drew's girlfriend. I had not seen either of them for close to a year. It was good to see them. 

We chatted briefly until my train came. What was interesting about all this was not the interaction itself - Drew and Alexia are, as always, friendly and good people - but that it happened at all. That sort of meeting used to happen to me all the time in New York -- I even ran into an ex-girlfriend from Los Angeles. It had not, until yesterday, happened here. 

Maybe Los Angeles is starting to become a more cosmopolitan city, based, in large part, on the increasing number of professionals using public transit. Interesting thought, no? 

Anyhow, there was a guy on the train that was carting a large mound of recyclables on a baby stroller. The cans kinda smelled, as they do, and I was glad to see him get off at Pershing Square... the next stop down the line. 

I wished I had my camera, though. As he got off the train, the man pushed his cart west, giving me a clear view of the back of his t-shirt. It read "Anything To Make You Look Better." 

Nice. Good on you, man. Good on you. 

South Beach Diet -- Stalled

OK, so I haven't written down my eating habits regarding my South Beach Diet for, well, nearly two weeks. The reason? I haven't been all that South Beachy in my eating habits. I am back up (or down, really) to 184 lbs., which is an improvement from 187. Still, it's a rather hard diet to stick to. Here's my issues: 

- A good majority of my social activity involves going to see a band, going to a bar or going out to eat... and during Phase 1, you're not supposed to touch a drop of booze. This is harder than I expected. 

- The recipes in the South Beach Diet book are quite good. Unfortunately, it's tough, near impossible, to make the foods required based on my 9-hour workday and hour (each way) commute. Who wants to stop by the Ralphs after such a long day... and then make food afterward? Mind you, eating whatever happened to be around is how I started to get chubby in the first place, but, man, this is also harder than I expected. 

- Donna is not doing this with me. This means that all the food I make is essentially for me, either because a) it's not palatable to Donna and/or b) contains some sort of meat product (she's gone veggie in the last few months). 

Still, I'll solider on. I'm essentially doing a modified version of the diet, keeping down the carbs as much as possible, eating a lot of salads, and drinking only vodka... Less sugar. 

South Beach Diet, Day 6

The Weigh-in: 183.6 lbs. (7:30 a.m.) 

I'm feeling a bit sluggish this morning, possibly due to the drinks had last night. Oh well, I'll be good today. I am still loosing weight, though, which is definitely a good thing. 

Breakfast: 

Coffee

South Beach Diet, Day 5

Weigh-In: 184.6 lbs
Gym: No

Well, maybe it was the drinks that failed to make my weight decrease. Perhaps the lack of gym-going. Who knows, yo? But, at least it hasn't increased. Tonight is going to be a challenge, as I'm moderating a panel discussion on media convergence (details at www.spj.org/losangeles) at a Chinese restaurant... Not places usually known for their low-fat, low-carb offerings. Oh well. I'll try and be good during the day, and a minimum of bad tonight.

Breakfast:

Coffee
Turkey and swiss omelets

Mid Morning

Coffee

Lunch: 

1/2 lb. grilled chicken from the Farmer's Market downstairs 

Salted almonds

Dinner: 

2 gin gimlets 

Assorted Chinese dishes, including (gulp) shrimp fried rice, lemon chicken, beef with green peppers and string beans

2 fortune cookies 

After dinner: 

2 vodka drinks 

Daniel Evans Photography

In my continuing (and continuous) attempt to better market myself, here's a reminder:

I am a wedding and event photographer. Check out my work at www.danevans.org or at my photoblog at danielevansphoto.wordpress.com...

If you have any photographic needs, please check out my work and give me a call at (562) 331-5516 or email daniel.j.evans(at)mac.com

Additionally, you can check out my LinkedIn profile here and my Facebook profile here...

South Beach Diet, Day 4

So, I woke up a bit hungry this morning, which is fairly unusual. I have to admit, it is strange for me to go home and not pour myself a nice drink, but I am sleeping better. I don't know if that's due to a decreased alcohol intake, specifically, or to better nutrition, generally. Whatever the reason, it appears to be working.

The Weigh-In: 184.6 lbs.

Gym: No.

Whoo! So, now I'm down nearly two-and-a-half pounds from Sunday. Again, I don't know if the rapid decrease will continue, but I'm hoping so. That'll be nice.

Breakfast

Cup of Coffee (even though I was hungry, I was late, so food will have to wait for a bit)

Mid Morning

Spanish Frittata thingy
More Coffee

Lunch

Cobb Salad
Water

Dinner

Italian salad (no bread)
Two martinis
Water

After Dinner

Two string cheese sticks

South Beach Diet, Day 3

So, I'm now on the third day of the South Beach Diet. I have tended to feel rather tired at night, though I think I am sleeping better... Maybe because the tiredness makes me want to go to bed earlier. Anyhow, on with the documentation:

Weigh-in: 186.2 lbs. (7:45 a.m.)

Gym: Yes. 20 minutes incline machine, ab work

This is weird to me. I have been eating well, and yet my weight has increased from yesterday. I suppose there's plenty of reasons why this could be the case (water weight, etc.), but it's still a bit discouraging. Additionally, I was pretty hungry last night and I did eat something at about 11 p.m. I know that this may lead to weight gain, as your body doesn't digest things all that well while one is sleeping.

On a random note, I have now been on hold with the South Beach Diet Online people for nearly 15 minutes. It turns out I lost my SBD book, and wanted to see if I could get a few recipes online... Well, it turns out the best place online is the South Beach Diet Online. They offer a free seven day trial of the site...

The site seems pretty good, I'll admit. However, the price they want for it, $65 a quarter (at $5 a week), is way too much... Especially since the actual book will run you all of $15. Additionally, the cost of the online program is buried at the bottom of the "FREE TRIAL" button.

I'll let you all know how it turns out. Wish me luck.

Breakfast

Piece spinach frittata
Cup Coffee

Lunch

Cheesy Tuna & Bean Soup (yeah, I know, but it tastes better than it sounds... won't be making it again, though.)
Salad with Grilled Chicken
Water
Fat Free Pudding Cup

Snack

Half of a proferred cream puff (whoops... but, as they say, admit your mistakes and sin no more) It was probably no more than 200 calories, anyhow. I hope.

Dinner

More Soup
Chicken Breast
Pudding Cup
Crystal Light

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South Beach Diet, Day 2

Starting Weight (7:30 a.m.): 185.8 lbs.

Gym: No.

Whoo! It's already working. Still, I'm betting that my weight loss will not continue at this clip for too long. Nice to get that immediate affirmation, though. I am noticing that I tend to get hungry during the late afternoon and evening, though. Since the whole philosophy of the South Beach Diet is to NOT go hungry, I may have to pack a few more string cheeses and/or pudding cups.

Damnit, it's hard not to snack on those cookies my office peeps bring around. Very hard.

Breakfast

- Slice Spinach Frittata
- Cup Coffee

Mid-Morning

- Two String Cheeses
- Cup Coffee

Lunch

- Pre-Packaged Chief Salad (Lettuce, Ham, Turkey, Dressing)
- Water
- Fat Free Pudding Cup

Dinner

- Piece Spinach Frittata
- Bowl Broccoli Soup
- Fat Free Pudding Cup

Late Night
- Four string cheeses
- Two spoonfuls peanut butter

South Beach Diet, Day 1 (Sunday)

As part of my goat to slim down to 170 lbs. by my birthday (if you want to send a card, it's March 31), I am exercising more (two to three times a week) and eating better. And, to facilitate my intake, I am going to be using the touted (or scorned, depending who you ask) South Beach Diet.

Donna and I used this diet about a year ago. It seemed to work, but for a few logistical issues, and we both lost a few unwanted pounds. Since then, Donna has been going to the gym far more regularly than I have and has been watching her food intake. I have been learning web design and eating Cheetos.

As a result, I need to get back on the South Beach wagon while she does not. So it goes.

As a way of keeping myself honest, I will be writing down my food intake, exercise regimen and reporting my daily weigh-ins. Why? Why not. You're reading it, right?

Day One - Sunday

The first part of the South Beach Diet (the so-called Phase 1) is the hardest. You are severely restricted in the foods you can eat. You need to avoid all bread products, cereals, potatoes, carrots, fruits (and fruit juices), sweets and booze. You eat lots of eggs, chicken, lean beef, salads, beans and fish. The recipes listed in the South Beach book are actually quite tasty. The biggest problem is time. I don't know about you, but the reason I eat Life in the morning instead of eggs and bacon is that the latter takes a hell of a lot longer to make, eat and clean up.

Also, when you work downtown (as I do), you lunchtime options do not tend towards the breadless and low-fat, but rather towards the starchy and the fried. This means having to pack a lunch each day, another time issue. Maybe I'm just lazy. I do like to cook, but I'm generally so tired and hungry by the end of the day that I just want to stuff something in the ole pie hole and be done with it... Either that or eat out. (That I've gained a few extra pounds comes as no particular surprise.)

Anyhow, here's what I ate yesterday.

Sunday, Jan. 27

Starting Weight (at 11 a.m.) : 187.0 lbs.

Gym: Yes. 20 minutes stairmaster, ab work, arms

Breakfast:

- Three poached eggs
- Lettuce
- Three slices cheese
- Three slices turkey breast

No Lunch

Dinner

- Bowl Cheesy Broccoli Soup
- Small Chicken Breast
- Two String Cheese sticks
- Fat Free Pudding Cup

After Dinner

- Fat Free Pudding Cup

Response from US Air...

This, as it turns out, happened a couple of days ago. In fact, US Air responded to my complaint approximately three hours after I emailed it. Pretty amazing, though they did spell my last name "Evens." Oh well. Still pretty cool:

Dear Mr. Evens,

On behalf of US Airways and the entire Customer Relations team, please accept our sincere apology for the travel difficulties you experienced. Your concerns have been thoroughly documented and your comments have been shared with the appropriate management teams to help us improve our service.

To convey our apologies we have authorized two $200.00 Electronic Travel With Us Vouchers as a gesture of goodwill, in hopes you will allow US Airways another opportunity to regain your confidence. Your E-TUV is valid toward the purchase of travel on US Airways. Please be advised the E-TUV is not valid with Internet bookings. The E-TUV must be redeemed one year from the date of this letter. In addition, please take a moment to read the terms and conditions listed below to receive the full benefit of this compensation. When you are ready to make your future travel arrangements, please call our Reservations Department at 1-800-428-4322 and provide the ETV code listed below.

We know that you have many choices when it comes to traveling these days and we would like to say thank you for choosing US Airways.

Sincerely,

US Airways Customer Relations

Corporate Office

rn

Houston Trip!

So, Donna and I went to Houston to visit her friends (and bridesmaids) Jill and Meredith. Good times, my friends, good times. We saw a very weird art exhibit featuring stuffed (i.e. taxidermy) and be-sweatered squirrels and deer in Galveston, watched my beloved Chargers flail against the damned Patriots, and drank much Shiner Bock.

The airline travel, however, was far from awesome. We took US Air, a carrier that I cannot recommend and may, someday, strongly discourage others from taking. It all comes down to how they respond to my complaint letter (below). I'll keep you all updated.

To Whom it May Concern:

I traveled with my wife, Donna Huffaker, to Houston to celebrate her birthday over the MLK holiday weekend. I choose US Air, despite rarely having used your carrier in the past, due to its reputation and excellent prices. Unfortunately, we were disappointed – nearly from the beginning – with surly and inattentive service.

Upon arrival at LAX for our outbound flight to IAH , we were told by a ticket clerk that we would not be able to make our plane due to the long security line. I’m not exactly sure why this woman (whose name, I’m sad to say, I do not know) kept repeating “You’re not going to make it,” but it did not bode well for our experience with US Air. As it turns out, we made the flight in plenty of time.

All went well until it came time for us to return from Houston. Though our plane pulled back from the gate a few minutes early, we sat on the tarmac for 30-40 minutes waiting to takeoff. As a result, we landed in Phoenix significantly later than scheduled. This, I want to stress, is not my complaint. It is not US Air’s fault that the plane was held by traffic control in Houston. It is not, then, US Air’s fault that the plane arrived late in Phoenix.

However, I believe US Air personnel could have – and should have – conducted themselves differently upon on arrival in Phoenix. That, I believe, is US Air’s fault.

Here’s what happened. (Times are approximate. You may be able to gauge things more accurately via flight records.) We arrived at the gate in Phoenix at 10:40 p.m. Our connecting flight to LAX had a scheduled departure of 10:54 p.m.

I asked the flight attendant whether we would be able to make our connecting flight. “Depends on how fast you run,” she replied, shrugging. I asked if our connecting flight was the last one leaving for LAX that night. She responded it was. I asked if it was possible to let the gate agent for our LAX flight know we were coming. She said it was not possible. (This, by the way, doesn’t sound correct. I have to believe there is a way for an airplane, prior to reaching the gate, to make contact with the gate agents, if only for safety reasons.)

Mind you, I had the ability to ask all these questions for two reasons. We had the fortune to have the front seats of the plane and the misfortunate of having to wait nearly 10 minutes for the jetway driver to make it to our plane. By the time we made it off the plane, the arrival/departure monitor stated that our connecting flight had already left.

Despite a delay caused by the jetway driver and an obstinate refusal by the flight attendant to let our connecting flight know we were coming, we were told that US Air would not be paying for a hotel room. The reason? The delay was not the result of human error, but due to “weather issues coming from Houston.”

I beg to differ. Our luggage made our originally scheduled flight, so I can see no reason why we could not have as well but for the simply outrageous behavior of US Air personnel.

Adding insult to injury, we also received poor advice from Custom Relations as to available hotel rooms. (The number on the blue “Distressed Traveler” slip connected us to a room 10 miles away, $99 a night, and no airport shuttle service.) Fortunately, we ran into a stranded JetBlue flight attendant who clued us into a $65/night room with airport service.

Because of all this, I am requesting that I be reimbursed for the cost of the hotel room, which, with tax, came to $74.15. (A copy of the receipt can be made available, if you wish.) Without some sort of consideration, I do have to warn, I will not likely be considering US Air for any of my future travel.

Thank you for your time.

Yours,

Daniel Evans

The First Post of the Year!!

Yes, verily, it has been quite a while since I last blogged. I would say life has been hectic (when isn't it?) or that I had nothing to write (this has yet to happen), but the sad truth is that I've just been overfed, over-liquored, and under-slept.

So, then, let's work backwards: the annual NYE bash was held at Chateau Evans (Burbank edition) to much merriment, eating, drinking and a wicked hangover. Seriously. Donna, my buddy Nelson, his girlfriend Kelly, Lindsey and I didn't get up until about 5 p.m. It was ugly. Each year I forget not to do this, and each year I don't feel human until Jan. 3. So it goes.

A week prior, I got my eyes zapped via LASER at LasikFirst in Hawthorne. Hawthorne, if you're not from Los Angeles, is a up-and-coming (read: seedy) burg near LAX. LasikFirst is, I believe, the cheapest laser eye treatment in the county, costing a mere $999 for both eyes. It may also be in one of the most ghetto medical facilities in the county.

If you get past the scratch-graffiti on the front door and elevator, past the fifth-floor toilet that blinks like a prop in a low-budget horror flick, past the weird prospect of having surgery with 100 other people on the same day (performed by the same surgeon!), than LasikFirst is for you.

Now, it may sound like I'm bashing the place. I'm actually not. They are helpful, professional, honest and, from my experience, pretty good at what they do. There is a reason why they cost a half-to-a-third less than EVERYONE else, though.


Several people have written asking for an update on the laser-eye thing. So, in the interest of satisfying my, literally, dozens of readers (hi Dad!), here's the zap-by-zap account of my experience with the good people at LasikFirst.

I wake at 5 a.m., feeling rather anxious. I have to be in Hawthorne at 7:30 a.m., nearly 40 miles from Burbank, so it's not that weird that I'm up. Still, I can't sleep. It's really not every day you get your eyes worked on, and my mind starts racing: what happens if they fuck up, and this is the last day I see ANYTHING?!

In the interest of relieving my anxiety, and giving Donna, who driving me to the doctor, another hour-plus to sleep, I get up and make coffee. (This, I'll admit, sounds weird. If you're anxious, why the hell would you drink coffee? Still, it works, maybe by overloading the anxiety chemicals and pushing them over to the calm... Well, probably not. Still, it seems to work.)

Soon enough, though, the appointed hour rolls along and Donna and I make our way south to Hawthorne. I'm driving with my glasses, the last time (I hope) that I'll be doing so. Suddenly, there it is: a eight-story glass and concrete building down the street from a dirt mall and a used car lot. Now, I was at this building not too long ago for my free consultation and sales pitch, so the building and neighborhood is not a shock. Donna, however, is a bit aghast.

"Huh," she says. "This is it?"

Any final spousal warning, however, is overshadowed by Donna's overpowering need to sleep, which she plans on doing in the car while waiting for me. (She later tells me she felt very bad about this, feeling like she was abandoning me in my hour of anxiety... But, as you'll see, there was no room for her upstairs anyhow.)

So, onward I go. Thought it is 7:30 a.m., the appointed time, the front door is locked, and I have to gain egress via the parking lot in the back. Classy.

In the lobby are several bespeckled people, all of whom (I assume) are there for surgery. I, though, being me, ask one, and get an affirmative, if somewhat nervous, nod. We pile into the elevator (tastefully decorated with graffiti) and head up to the fifth floor. Upon arrival, I am surprised (though not exactly shocked) to see that people are already spilling out of the front door. A sign on the front request that all non-patients wait someplace else, and still, there is not enough room for everyone.

Despite the large group, I am called to a secondary waiting room only a few minutes after announcing myself. There, the wait begins. I and seven other souls sit and stare at one another for a time, occasionally making small talk, but mostly attempting to focus on "The Pacifier," an extraordinarily lame Vin Diesel vehicle, running on continuous loop.

Conversation, though, does begin amongst us patients once the nurses bring in the drugs. Yes, friends, all this and a Valium. One of the dudes, a muscled guy with close-cropped hair and, suddenly blurts out:

"You guys nervous? Huh? Huh?"

A little, a few people respond.

"Yeah, me too. I keep wondering what'll happen if they fuck it up."

A few icy glares. He fails to notice.

"You guys feeling the drugs? I think I feel dizzy. Whoa. Yeah, definitely."

Fortunately, before he can further elaborate on his feelings of worry and Valium, a the surgeon comes in to explain how the surgery is going to work. The whole process takes about five minutes, she said, and does not hurt, though you will feel pressure on your eye.

Good enough. A few minutes later, a nurse comes by and takes the first of our group off to surgery. Sure enough, five minutes later, we see him being led out of the room to the recovery area.

Then, for what seems like an eternity, I wait. For whatever reason, I am one of the last in our group. Then it is my turn.

As advertised, the whole thing takes about five minutes. It does not hurt and, but for the pressure on the eye, I felt nearly nothing. There are two relatively creepy things about it, however. First, when the device goes over your cornea it makes a little whirling sound which sounds a touch like a dentist drill... Then, like magic, you see the little clear flap of your eye being lifted off. Thoughts of "oh my god, they're drilling my eyeball" go through your head.

Second, after the corneal flap is lifted, the laser part begins. Again, this does not hurt. However, you can see tiny smoke tendrils floating above your eye. Yeah, that's part of your eye going up in smoke. Weird.

Afterward, I was led to a small, dark room where another nurse put a shield on my eyes and dark glasses. They called Donna, who, refreshed from her nap, took me to the car. I finished up by about 10:30 a.m.

So, there you go. Immediately following the surgery, and for a couple of days afterward, my eyes were very sensitive to light. Additionally, my eyes still get tired fairly quickly. However, as this is only the week-anniversary (weekiversary?) of the deed, I'm told this is well within normal ranges. I also need to keep eye drops around, as my eyes also tend to dry out. I also understand, however, that this will fade in another week or so.

But, then, the upshot: did it work? Yes. My vision is not perfect, however. I believe it is about 20/25 during the day and 20/30 at night. I'm told that my vision will continue to get clearer as my eyes fully heal, and, certainly, my eyes have gotten better in only the week since the surgery.

And what did I think of LasikFirst? A harder question. The $999 for both eyes is certainly a good deal. The surgeon is very friendly (for the 10 minutes, total, I spent with her), and the staff is helpful and kind, despite the hoards of people that tromp through the facility on semi-weekly basis.

However, as mentioned above, the building is a bit ghetto. I do understand keeping costs down, but, man, the state of that building is atrocious. Also, I thought it a little weird that I got asked about "lifetime insurance" (at a low, low cost of $149 per eye) on the day of surgery. Basically, they claim that up to five percent of all patients will need a touch-up at some point in their lives. If you sign up for this lifetime deal, you can get this done for free. If not, you'll pay whatever the going rate happens to be.

This seemed like a bad deal to me for a couple of reasons. First, paying $300 to insure a $1,000 product seems waaaaay steep. (By way of comparison, I pay about $300/yr for a $1 million liability insurance policy for my photography biz.) Second, when pressed, the staff said that nearly all touch-up operations occur within the first two years following surgery, and, unless I heard incorrectly, all needed touch-ups or post-op work within the first year is free anyhow. So, you're basically paying $300 for the slim chance that you'll need something done after the first year.

Third, I kinda feel that if something goes wrong, or the doctor messed up my eyes (or some combination therein), there's no way in hell I'd go back to the same doctor.

And, finally, I got wigged out by the fact it was sprung on me on the day of my surgery, which made me feel pressured into doing something I didn't need to do.

On the whole, though, I've been impressed with the surgery and follow-up care. Good times.